u/Hot_Tangerine92

I’m just curious what it’s like coming off Latuda and antipsychotics in general, I’ve been on meds for a year or so now. Switched to lurisadone last November and have loved it ever since

Thing is I’m so used to it and the only time I can remember what being in unmedicated was like was when I was manic and in psychosis.

So for the people that have come of it, what was your withdrawal symptoms and what was the difference when. You were fully off? Like did u have more energy, clearer mind? If you were chatty bubbly beforehand, did that come back?

hhh when I was 20 I started developing psychosis, was unaware of this until months latter because I lived in it for awhile without questioning the fact that I was hearing voices. like it took until I impulsively quit my job moved cities for 11 weeks, Ghosted my best friend when she came to visit (because the voices told me too), ended up moving in with this evil rich woman, moved out from there 2 weeks later but had to move back home to my parents house. And that whole time I was hearing voices and I basically let them decide my every decision because I thought they were my spirit guides or something. Anyways back home I started starving myself and drinking 5 coffees a day, wasn't sleeping much, weeks go by and im just stuck in my room writing down my business plan because I really really wanted to start a business and I had this incredible dream since I was kid. But I could never focus on one thing, my head was always racing and the voices had become stronger at this point, there'd be times I just fully write down every voice like it was giving me this grand plan for my business. AND I couldn't switch off this, I had to write down every voice like it was crucially important.

I did this for weeks on end, I thought my crush actually liked me (he was an older gay man) but my mind delusional believed he was straight and that he was my twin flame) I also believed that I was going to go viral and become famous overnight. Anyways by this final 8 weeks I had developed every symptom there was seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, feeling things that wasn't there, paranoia, grandiosity, I switched topics mid sentence and could never pay attention in a conversation. -- I thought I just had ADHD the only thing I didn't develop was abnormal motor behaviour.
One night after 5 hours sleep over the 3 days before, I was up listening to the voices as they were going to give me the plan to the grand plan so Im trying to piece together a map of how feminine and masculine energy works (because this was apparently crucial) and all of a sudden I feel this soft angel presence in front of me, it was me as a pure feminine energy form in front of me and They were speaking to me, I could actually hear them outside my head, alongside my energy was this evil like masculine energy that was my crush and they both spoke to me and told me something I dont remember but the next minute I start seeing glowing lights everywhere, a ufo above my head with cords plugging into my head, at that point I just stopped and listened to every single voice like my head had no thoughts anymore and I believed that I was going to save the world with this grand plan that I didnt know, I had lost total emotion and was completely disconnected and believed everybody was actually evil and only me and my twinflame could pull this mission off. I didnt feel real and nothing looked real I was just in another world.

ANYWHO I woke up the next day and suddenly im like what the f, I start hearing men shouting, laughing and harassing me with commands trying to get me to die or kill someone else. These voices now sounded like someone in front of me literally speaking to me and they were loud and scared me, one "spirit" even took over me and I felt rock hard evil for a few seconds like thats who I was. I couldn't look at my phone at times because I was so scared the government was watching me and I fell in and out of believing there was cameras in the walls.

I got treatment because I got help but for the next 6 months my mood went up and down, somedays it was dramatically hard to get out of bed, I had crippling anxiety and I didnt know what to believe when it came to spiritual things or who I really was without the psychosis, the medications were had such strong side effects I gained weight and lost all my energy, I was so depressed and just couldn't talk to people, I had no idea what to say in conversations or how to be myself.

I now am on a good medication and I like it but I still get voices, I wasn't diagnosed with anything other than acute psychosis because im young they can still treat it before it becomes anything else like schizo-affective (what they said I'd be if they diagnosed me at the start). I dont want my business anymore but I also dont get interested by anything anymore I had to start from scratch and learn who I was again

Im now a year later and Ive gotten my life back together with friends but Ive lost interest in any direction in life, like I used to be an ambitious go getter and believed in myself, now I've lost all belief and I dont know what I want and I cant have a cheeky fun night out with adult candy or drinks because I just risk going back into a psychosis and permanently becoming schizophrenic

I just don't know how to make life feel good again

anyways thanks for listening to my ted talk, wandering what others experiences were like