i can't tolerate the fatigue anymore :(
making sort of a goodbye post to my latuda because i finally made the decision to switch meds. i started latuda about a month ago and it has been the best medication i've ever tried. i've been on a total of 7 meds in my lifetime for my mental health, but this is the first bipolar-specific med for me. i have bipolar 2 and i go through really intense depressive episodes, but i've never found a med (until now) that actually brings me out of it. the latuda brought me out of it almost immediately. it's been an absolute lifesaver. but unfortunately i can't tolerate the sedating effect anymore.
it's pretty ridiculous how common it is. i'll take my meds at 6:30 with my dinner and about an hour to two hours later, i'll be horrifically sleepy. i have to drop whatever i'm doing so i can scramble to get ready for bed. i'll sleep for 12 hours uninterrupted. if i sleep any less than 10, i'm fighting sleep in the morning on my way to my lectures. i'll fall asleep in the lecture hall and walk through the day like a zombie. sometimes i'll take 2 hour naps, sometimes they turn into 3 hours. on a lucky day, i'll take my meds late enough that i can stay up until about 10:30. most nights it's 9:30. i feel like i'm sleeping through my life and i can't take it anymore.
i've heard a lot of people improve after a few months. it's working so well for me that i genuinely thought i was willing to wait it out. but my current lifestyle requires me to be way more present than i currently am and unfortunately i have to find something else. plus, i tend to be someone who reacts better to higher doses of meds, and i can't increase at all if it's making me this tired on just 20mg.
i'm terrified of slipping back into a depressive episode after weaning off, but i'm not willing to wait and see if the fatigue goes away. off to another atypical antipsychotic, i guess !