u/crunchwrapwnotomatos

I’m currently in a manic state rn and have been for the last 8 days. Usually in the past when I’ve been manic I don’t eat mostly bc I forget and don’t get hunger cues so I don’t feel the need for it but can break it if I want like if I’m with people and want to share the experience of eating something with them. But this time I also have that but on top of it whenever I try to eat I can’t bc all food just disgusts me. I’m not disgusted by the food bc I think it’s contaminated or have some other sort of idea or delusional abt it, just the thought of consuming anything makes me feel uncomfortable and disgusted.

This is definitely an unhealthy way of thinking but a part of me worries that I’m gonna miss my mania after being medicated. Im also worried that by making my emotions more stable it’ll get rid of some of my personality/flatten my personality. However, ik that being medicated is for the best and Im excited to hopefully get rid of the extreme lows and the mental exhaustion of the flip between mania and depression. This is just a fear that keeps creeping up.

- also I’m starting latuda next week if anyone has perspective on what it’s like being on latuda and the mood changes

I’ve been bsfs with a girl G since middle school and we’re now in college. We’re vry alike in vry niche ways and there’s the sisterly bond but in the past yr i think i’m starting to outgrow her.

Part of it is that I think we’re both in different places. I’ve been moving into the next stages of my life and have changed some things like drinking less, prioritizing health, being independent, and going out less whereas she’s vry stuck in hs (not trying to be rude she just doesn’t wanna move on) and is still abusing substances until the point where she’s getting alc poisoning or greening out and is still very codependent. Those aren’t an issue in itself, I have many friends that still do benders and ask to hangout frequently but the difference is she’ll get mad when I don’t want to do things like going out.

The MAIN issue however is how she makes me feel. She’s very oblivious to her actions and can’t take accountability which I’ll admit caused me to make the poor choice of not acknowledging her actions at the time because I thought it would get better but it has just lead to resentment. It started when my ex broke up with me while she was over and she got mad at me for leaving the room to cry to my mom quickly and then tried to leave when i didn’t want to watch love island after, this was shocking since when she had a talking stage in hs I listened to her cry and rant abt the guy for months at any time, I would even skip class. Additionally, she has made comments abt my weight constantly either saying im just skinny bc of my medical conditions or that i look anorexic or commenting on how my body was bigger in hs (even bringing up my mom who’s a size medium saying it doesn’t matter anyways bc i’ll just end up like my mom like what does that mean…this was also right after my breakup! 😆), made comments on my vagina trying to make me feel bad by saying innies don’t feel good after I said guys don’t care bc she was insecure abt hers, said I have no self respect/am pathetic when I relinked with my ex, repeatedly slut shames me for my tiktoks (we post the same shit in the same clothes) and using snap, insulted my intelligence bc I go to a school with a higher acceptance rate, and has insulted my brother & my closest friends i’ve made in college.

I’ve also been dealing with multiple chronic illnesses and the development of bipolar over the last yr and when I tell her if I seem more distant it’s bc of those reasons & that Im just offline & it’s not her she eventually blows up and sends a huge breakup text (this has happened 2x in less than a yr). I don’t think us not being as close as hs means we need to have a “breakup” but she seems to think so. This worries me bc she has reposted and liked multiple things when she freaks out like that that makes it clear she has no idea what she’s done to me (my fault) and then paints me as this cold backstabbing bitch that ditched her. Idk how to communicate why i’ve been more distant and that it’s not be just being a bitch without sounding like i’m attacking her or even if I should tell her at all. I just don’t know what to do and don’t want my image smeared for a misunderstanding.

I also feel bad because I’m currently her only close friend left

I’ve been bsfs with a girl G since middle school and we’re now in college. We’re vry alike in vry niche ways and there’s the sisterly bond but in the past yr i think i’m starting to outgrow her.

Part of it is that I think we’re both in different places. I’ve been moving into the next stages of my life and have changed some things like drinking less, prioritizing health, being independent, and going out less whereas she’s vry stuck in hs (not trying to be rude she just doesn’t wanna move on) and is still abusing substances until the point where she’s getting alc poisoning or greening out and is still very codependent. Those aren’t an issue in itself, I have many friends that still do benders and ask to hangout frequently but the difference is she’ll get mad when I don’t want to do things like going out.

The MAIN issue however is how she makes me feel. She’s very oblivious to her actions and can’t take accountability which I’ll admit caused me to make the poor choice of not acknowledging her actions at the time because I thought it would get better but it has just lead to resentment. It started when my ex broke up with me while she was over and she got mad at me for leaving the room to cry to my mom quickly and then tried to leave when i didn’t want to watch love island after, this was shocking since when she had a talking stage in hs I listened to her cry and rant abt the guy for months at any time, I would even skip class. Additionally, she has made comments abt my weight constantly either saying im just skinny bc of my medical conditions or that i look anorexic or commenting on how my body was bigger in hs (even bringing up my mom who’s a size medium saying it doesn’t matter anyways bc i’ll just end up like my mom like what does that mean…this was also right after my breakup! 😆), made comments on my vagina trying to make me feel bad by saying innies don’t feel good after I said guys don’t care bc she was insecure abt hers, said I have no self respect/am pathetic when I relinked with my ex, repeatedly slut shames me for my tiktoks (we post the same shit in the same clothes) and using snap, insulted my intelligence bc I go to a school with a higher acceptance rate, and has insulted my brother & my closest friends i’ve made in college.

I’ve also been dealing with multiple chronic illnesses and the development of bipolar over the last yr and when I tell her if I seem more distant it’s bc of those reasons & that Im just offline & it’s not her she eventually blows up and sends a huge breakup text (this has happened 2x in less than a yr). I don’t think us not being as close as hs means we need to have a “breakup” but she seems to think so. This worries me bc she has reposted and liked multiple things when she freaks out like that that makes it clear she has no idea what she’s done to me (my fault) and then paints me as this cold backstabbing bitch that ditched her. Idk how to communicate why i’ve been more distant and that it’s not be just being a bitch without sounding like i’m attacking her or even if I should tell her at all. I just don’t know what to do and don’t want my image smeared for a misunderstanding.

I also feel bad bc currently i’m her only close friend left

I’ve been bsfs with a girl G since middle school and we’re now in college. We’re vry alike in vry niche ways and there’s the sisterly bond but in the past yr i think i’m starting to outgrow her.

Part of it is that I think we’re both in different places. I’ve been moving into the next stages of my life and have changed some things like drinking less, prioritizing health, being independent, and going out less whereas she’s vry stuck in hs (not trying to be rude she just doesn’t wanna move on) and is still abusing substances until the point where she’s getting alc poisoning or greening out and is still very codependent. Those aren’t an issue in itself, I have many friends that still do benders and ask to hangout frequently but the difference is she’ll get mad when I don’t want to do things like going out.

The MAIN issue however is how she makes me feel. She’s very oblivious to her actions and can’t take accountability which I’ll admit caused me to make the poor choice of not acknowledging her actions at the time because I thought it would get better but it has just lead to resentment. It started when my ex broke up with me while she was over and she got mad at me for leaving the room to cry to my mom quickly and then tried to leave when i didn’t want to watch love island after, this was shocking since when she had a talking stage in hs I listened to her cry and rant abt the guy for months at any time, I would even skip class. Additionally, she has made comments abt my weight constantly either saying im just skinny bc of my medical conditions or that i look anorexic or commenting on how my body was bigger in hs (even bringing up my mom who’s a size medium saying it doesn’t matter anyways bc i’ll just end up like my mom like what does that mean…this was also right after my breakup! 😆), made comments on my vagina trying to make me feel bad by saying innies don’t feel good after I said guys don’t care bc she was insecure abt hers, said I have no self respect/am pathetic when I relinked with my ex, repeatedly slut shames me for my tiktoks (we post the same shit in the same clothes) and using snap, insulted my intelligence bc I go to a school with a higher acceptance rate, and has insulted my brother & my closest friends i’ve made in college.

I’ve also been dealing with multiple chronic illnesses and the development of bipolar over the last yr and when I tell her if I seem more distant it’s bc of those reasons & that Im just offline & it’s not her she eventually blows up and sends a huge breakup text (this has happened 2x in less than a yr). I don’t think us not being as close as hs means we need to have a “breakup” but she seems to think so. This worries me bc she has reposted and liked multiple things when she freaks out like that that makes it clear she has no idea what she’s done to me (my fault) and then paints me as this cold backstabbing bitch that ditched her. Idk how to communicate why i’ve been more distant and that it’s not be just being a bitch without sounding like i’m attacking her or even if I should tell her at all. I just don’t know what to do and don’t want my image smeared for a misunderstanding.

I also feel bad because I’m currently her only close friend left

When I’m in relationships I feel love so intensely where I physically feel it and it lasts the whole relationship. It almost consumes me and the person becomes my obsession. I even feel hypomania traits throughout. My ex also has bipolar and bpd and we both just love bombed each other. I was wondering if this has anything to do with my bipolar (unmediated) or if it’s a personal thing and i’m just insane lol.

I’ve been bsfs with a girl G since middle school and we’re now in college. We’re vry alike in vry niche ways and there’s the sisterly bond but in the past yr i think i’m starting to outgrow her. Part of it is that I think we’re both in different places. I’ve been moving into the next stages of my life and have changed some things like drinking less, prioritizing health, being independent, and going out less whereas she’s vry stuck in hs (not trying to be rude she just doesn’t wanna move on) and is still abusing substances until the point where she’s getting alc poisoning or greening out and is still very codependent. Those aren’t an issue in itself, I have many friends that still do benders and ask to hangout frequently but the difference is she’ll get mad when I don’t want to do things like going out. The main issue however is how she makes me feel. She’s very oblivious to her actions and can’t take accountability which I’ll admit caused me to make the poor choice of not acknowledging her actions at the time because I thought it would get better but it has just lead to resentment. It started when my ex broke up with me while she was over and she got mad at me for leaving the room to cry to my mom quickly and then tried to leave when i didn’t want to watch love island, this was shocking since when she had a talking stage in hs I listened to her cry and rant abt the guy for months at any time, I would even skip class. Additionally, she has made comments abt my weight constantly either saying im just skinny bc of my conditions or that i look anorexic or commenting on how my body was bigger in hs (even bringing up my mom who’s a size medium saying it doesn’t matter anyways bc i’ll just end up like my mom like what does that mean…this was also right after my breakup! 😆), made comments on my vagina trying to make me feel bad by saying innies don’t feel good after I said guys don’t care bc she was insecure abt hers, said I have no self respect/am pathetic when I relinked with my ex, repeatedly slut shames me for my tiktoks (we post the same shit in the same clothes) and using snap, insulted my intelligence bc I go to a school with a lower acceptance rate, and has insulted my brother & my closest friends i’ve made in college. I’ve also been dealing with multiple chronic illnesses and the development of bipolar over the last yr and when I tell her if I seem more distant it’s bc of those reasons & that Im just offline & it’s not her she eventually blows up and sends a huge breakup text (this has happened 2x in less than a yr). I don’t think us not being as close as hs means we need to have a “breakup” but she seems to think so. This worries me bc she has reposted and liked multiple things when she freaks out like that that makes it clear she has no idea what she’s done to me (my fault) and then paints me as this cold backstabbing bitch that ditched her. Idk how to communicate why i’ve been more distant and that it’s not be just being a bitch without sounding like i’m attacking her or even if I should I just don’t know what to do and don’t want my image smeared.

To preface I have MCAS and POTS so I’m posting this in both a thread for MCAS and POTS bc I don’t know what’s contributing to my symptoms. I’m typically a very active person and in the past rarely had this issue although there would be periods and they would line up with my MCAS and POTS flare ups. Lately however since i’ve been getting back into the gym after a depressed period I’ve had these unbearable symptoms every time. Fairly quickly into my cardio i’ll have skin aches, muscle aches, and joint aches to the point where it makes me nauseous. These aches last long after the workout has ended and the nausea will continue to get worse throughout the rest of the day until eventually I’m throwing up. Idk what else to do bc I’m taking all of my medications and hydrating well.

To preface I have MCAS and POTS so I’m posting this in both a thread for MCAS and POTS bc I don’t know what’s contributing to my symptoms. I’m typically a very active person and in the past rarely had this issue although there would be periods and they would line up with my MCAS and POTS flare ups. Lately however since i’ve been getting back into the gym after a depressed period I’ve had these unbearable symptoms every time. Fairly quickly into my cardio i’ll have skin aches, muscle aches, and joint aches to the point where it makes me nauseous. These aches last long after the workout has ended and the nausea will continue to get worse throughout the rest of the day until eventually I’m throwing up. Idk what else to do bc I’m taking all of my medications and hydrating well.

(for reference I was just prescribed Letuda) I know it might sound superficial but i pride myself on my fitness and appearance as i’m proud of the dedication it took to get there. I recently gained some weight while in a depressive episode and have been getting back to my normal health habits but am concerned that Letuda will make it more difficult than normal to bounce back after reading people’s horror stories about weight gain on Letuda. I’m a pretty active person averaging 15k steps a day, 1 hour at the gym daily, and i eat a calorie deficit of whole foods. Do you think the weight aspect of the medication will still be very noticeable and impact my typical routine?

- i also almost always gain weight when i’m in a depressive period from binge eating and not moving so i’m wondering if that would balance it out too

I recently officially got diagnosed with bipolar and want to know when is a good time to mention your diagnosis with your romantic partner. In my past relationship, my partner mentioned to me pretty early on his bpd and bipolar when i asked, which i found helpful as it affected the relationship. I also now looking back see how my undiagnosed bipolar effected our relationship and feel like my partner should know. however, im scared to bring it up because of the stereotypes and stigma surrounding the disorder. Also for reference im a straight woman so im worried that men (especially the men i tend to go for) would be less emotionally mature about it.

I was recently diagnosed with bipolar and have been exploring different treatment options, especially non drugs since i’ve gotten seratonin toxicity and dystonic reactions from other mental health meds. ECT and TMS keep coming up and I want to know peoples experiences with them since they kind of scare me but I also know they could potentially better my life.

I was recently diagnosed with bipolar and have been exploring different treatment options, especially non drugs since i’ve gotten seratonin toxicity and dystonic reactions from other mental health meds. ECT and TMS keep coming up and I want to know peoples experiences with them since they kind of scare me but I also know they could potentially better my life.

I recently officially got diagnosed with bipolar and want to know when is a good time to mention your diagnosis with your romantic partner. In my past relationship, my partner mentioned to me pretty early on his bpd and bipolar when i asked, which i found helpful as it affected the relationship. I also now looking back see how my undiagnosed bipolar effected our relationship and feel like my partner should know. however, im scared to bring it up because of the stereotypes and stigma surrounding the disorder. Also for reference im a straight woman so im worried that men (especially the men i tend to go for) would be less emotionally mature about it.

edit: I said im worried abt my partner being emotionally immature bc im 19 and so the men in my age range are most commonly emotionally immature not like im seeking that trait out. Plus i go to a small college so there’s limited options. I said it bc i thought it was unfair to group all men as immature.