r/ect

& I feel like this is my last hope at a future without chronic SI. I know nothing is ever gonna “cure” me, but there has to be a version of this life out there where I don’t want to die, right? There has to be a version of this life with less meds, where I’m not a regular at my local psych ward? I know that things have been worse, but “better” has to be better than this?

Anything you wish you knew before you started? Any positive experiences from folks with chronic SI and/or bipolar disorder?

I finished my treatments on Monday, and I'm going back to work today. I'm a preschool teacher, and I'm terrified. Don't get me wrong, there is no world where I don't take care of the kids or hurt them. That's just impossible, I don't think I could if I tried. But the brain fog is still really heavy, and I have some memory loss going on. I'm really really worried I'll get into a car crash on the way to work, or I'll forget something important. I've forgotten some of the kids, I know because I've seen pictures and the names are not returning to me. My mom works at the same preschool, and she kinda helped me out last night by reminding me who the kids were.

I'm asking for help because I need this brain fog to lift ASAP. How do I put my brain back in my head within the next couple of hours?

I really don’t want to struggle with memory loss my whole life. I already have a pretty bad memory and don’t want it to be worse. What was the memory loss like for people? Did you forget short term or long term things? Could I possibly forget how to do my job?
Those of you who had sever memory loss, how many sessions did you do? Do you think that impacted the memory loss?

I just want to feel okey again and so many doctors are saying this is the solution. I just don’t want to forget some of the good things in my life. I want to remember my dog and my scuba diving adventures and how to teach. I would be doing ECT to get those things back, I don’t want to loose them, they are all I have to live for.

I have provincial insurance in Canada. ECT is covered and will not cost me. Ketamine is not covered. I have about 2K in private insurance benefits, but the remaining 6K for Ketamine will come out of my pocket. I will have to take a loan out to pay for ketamine.

I am 51, have been on depression and anxiety medication since I was 18. Been in therapy since I was 23. I have been hospitalized twice due to suicide attempts. I work as a special education teacher, and that also brings up my PTSD due to trauma around physical and verbal abuse.

Should I take out a loan, against my husband’s wishes and try ketamine or go with ECT?

when I was in a psych institution (5 months inpatient), I saw countless patients being referred to ECT when they exhibited any symptom of TRD.. i tried ect and i relapsed too quickly, so instead i did spravato. Which works ok now, not great. I'm planning to take TMS and Spravato together in hopes of a synergetic effect. but like, despite ect being so invasive and having adverse side effects, idk why the psychs are so easy to refer patients for ect instead of less invasive options like tms or spravato. the side effects had me forgetting the first month of my hospitalization and some other core memories, and it messed with my cognitive ability badly. it also affected my vocabulary somehow

Just wanna vent, I had around 10 sessions of ECT and it barely worked. I would say it only worked during one session where when I woke up from the anesthesia, I felt happy. It only lasted a few days. I spent so much fucking money on it and it didn’t do shit. I hate this treatment. I hate how it was recommended. I hate how I had to take leaves from work and put effort into undergoing the treatment. I’m honestly a bit resentful towards my psychiatrist since she recommended it even if my depression is driven mostly by environmental factors.

I honestly feel more hopeless now that ECT didn’t work…it’s supposed to make me less depressed but there are still so many moments where I want to die.

“But you can just do it outpatient”

My OCD wouldn’t any longer let me be in the car without doing my morning routine which consists of drinking water and eating food. I’m so stuck because I really think ECT is a way out of this. Might go inpatient again.

Have done 8 sessions so far and the side effects have been minimal. What I have gained that's especially important is growing sparks of reinterest in what I used to enjoy as a kid!! This excites me so much. I am also laughing at things way more and my girlfriend notices the changes.

I know there are horror stories about ECT but so far it has been a great treatment for me. Waking up from anaesthesia is the worst part. But that's about it for me. My thinking is actually clearer now that the depressive fog is lifting.

I wanted to provide a positive experience here, and I hope it can help people weigh their decisions.

I have provincial insurance in Canada. ECT is covered and will not cost me. Ketamine is not covered. I have about 2K in private insurance benefits, but the remaining 6K for Ketamine will come out of my pocket. I will have to take a loan out to pay for ketamine.

I am 51, have been on depression and anxiety medication since I was 18. Been in therapy since I was 23. I have been hospitalized twice due to suicide attempts. I work as a special education teacher, and that also brings up my PTSD due to trauma around physical and verbal abuse.

Should I take out a loan, against my husband’s wishes and try ketamine or go with ECT?

I'm going to ask my psychiatrist in a few weeks about ECT. Basically I've been battling major depression for the past six years, and it came back after I had an incident last semester, which lead up to me being suspended for vocalizing suicide. I'm working full-time and I've got some time before August, but should I try to get something done now, or wait a year.

I've been suffering from schizophrenia,with typical symptoms. Many that had kept me non functional fully and it took many years of therapy to get to where I am now. So much more stable than I used to be. The main area of my psychotic experience comes from the voice hearing. So i've been administered nearly 50 ECTs over the course of nearly 15years. I get into the ECT table everytime hoping that the voices will go away. Do the ECTs help at all with the voices or should I quit completely taking ever so many rounds. My disfunction will never go away and I'm stuck with these people/voices forever if that is my fate. Please help. I try everything (psychedelics and entheogens) hoping I will dissociate and escape the voice hearing trap. Where is my salvation? :(

Looking to hear some positive healing story's. I feel so screwed up

I am having issues with anxiety before my ect treatment coming up and I’ve done a bunch. The anesthesia part is making me really anxious right before you fall asleep I keep thinking about it is this normal?

Hello, I usually get treatment every 3 weeks. I’ve been having a particularly bad time lately as well (getting maintenance for over 2 years) and the morning of my treatment I noticed my anxiety prescription was incorrect with a lower dose so I called and cancelled to fix it. I get crazy physical anxiety around sessions. Called to reschedule but they don’t have openings for weeks but they put me on a cancellation list. I’m already having a really hard time and now not only do I not get my treatment I won’t get it for weeks which I’ve never done since starting ECT. I’m also coming off 3 medications and trying 3 new ones and changes in dosages in others. I’m really freaking out and I don’t know what to do :( things have been so bad lately this is the last thing I need

I have done 7 treatments so far and I'm confused by the results. There has been a bit of memory loss but not much else for side effects. However my depression symptoms only seemed to improve at the start for a few days after each session and now only for the day the treatment is done. I'm mostly feeling a rebound in intense sadness. Is this a good or bad sign? My OCD is also coming back badly. Don't know what to make of this.

I’ve been getting an initial series of 20 bilateral ect treatments for depression. I’ve completed 17 and feel worse mentally than I ever have before. When I started my PHQ9 was 21. It got down to 14 in the first few weeks but has since risen to 24. I was so hopeful for it to work but now that it seems like it’s not going to I have no idea what to do. I feel like I have exhausted all of my options at this point. My team keeps telling me to not lose hope but that is so hard.

How long did it take you guys to go back to normal? I'm almost 6 months post treatment and still very forgetful, which is very, very bad, as I work in a highly competitive field that requires mental sharpness. I'm very worried. I was supposed to have recovered by now.

The therapy was good for me, however. It's just my memory and attention span.

Scared as fuck, I also an artist, scared to lose ability to draw, do you have memory loss do I need to be scared, I currently don’t have a lot of choise because tried almost all meds

To those of u who had ECT, did ur urine or stool leak due to seizure. Some have reported this happening. I scheduled for this week and was genuinely concerned. If so do u wear an adult diaper during ECT? Pls do respond.

I suffer with awful tactile hallucinations that are just ridiculous. It feels like there's something clamping down on my head, and chest all the time. It's made it hard to focus, and it's also difficult to sleep from it. It's a form of psychosis that I've had to tolerate every waking moment of my life for the past 3 years. I'm going to an inpatient hospital for 2 weeks where I will probably have about 3-4 rounds of treatment for this. Is ECT the best option for this psychosis, or is there a better one? Because I've heard of people forgetting years of their life when taking the treatment, while others say it's only temporary. I don't know how it would be for me, and that kind of scares me. But this is the only chance I'll have for a while. The psychosis symptoms are bad enough to keep me from working and work requirements will be placed on Medicaid recipients by next year. So if I'm going to go for it, now's the best shot and possibly only shot I'll have.