r/ect

I just finished my full acute series and we did not have the results hoped for. I was feeling pretty OK through half of the acute series, not too bad of memory loss or confusion and just was waiting for the depression to tone back and feel the benefits. But the benefits never came and the side effects did become more prevalent (memory loss, confusion, etc.). Where do I go from here? I feel more lost and hopeless than when I started treatment and now I don't know what to do. I have tried many other medications, I have done many many rounds of Ketamine treatment, I can start therapy again but I just feel like I am farther back and have lost any little motivation I had.

Has anybody else not gotten the results they were needing from ECT? How did you recover and get back into a "normal" mode after such a life uprooting experience? How did you not give up?

What the fuck did I do to myself?

I recently underwent an acute course of 12 ECT treatments following a suicide attempt related to PTSD and severe depression.

For context, I’m absolutely terrified of being anaesthetised, so it took an enormous amount of courage just to get myself onto the table and go through with the treatments.

The strange thing is, after my 7th treatment, I honestly wasn’t feeling too bad. I was actually starting to feel somewhat hopeful.

But after my 12th treatment? Holy shit.
I feel like I’m drunk, stuck in some bizarre dream state, and only half present in my own body. Everything feels surreal, almost like I’m watching my life happen rather than actually experiencing it. It’s incredibly unsettling.

I’m genuinely terrified that I’ve somehow cooked my brain and that I’m going to be stuck feeling like this forever.
I only agreed to undergo ECT because I owe it to myself and my family to keep fighting, and because I’m so unbelievably exhausted from feeling depressed all the time. I desperately wanted to get better, not trade one nightmare for another.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of intense dissociation, derealisation or dreamlike feeling after ECT? Did it eventually go away?

I’d especially love to hear from people who felt absolutely awful immediately after their course, only to find that a few weeks later the fog lifted and they actually started feeling significantly better.

I’m not expecting miracles, and I know everyone’s experience is different. I just really need some hope right now.

Here’s to hoping this is temporary and that better days are ahead. 🤞

So I've been on fluoxtine, etizolam, lithium, endoxifens, desvenlafaxine, quetiapine, clonazepam and Risperidone over the course of a year. They put me on ketamine for a while, which worsened things. I've been admitted into psych wards as well. Nothing has helped even a bit and every day I wake up I have to fight to live. I've had around 6 suicide attempts this year alone, three being in the last two weeks. The psychiatrist strongly recommended ECT. Scrolling through this sub, I see people who's lives have worsened. Is ECT a sustainable option or are there any other available?

I know ECT isn’t successful for everyone and for some people it has severe side effects, I am not trying to devalue people’s experiences, but I do want to share a bit of my story because generally we don’t hear the stories of people who are doing well, because they’re out there living their lives.

I have had 4 acute courses of ECT over the last nearly 20 years. The first two were involuntary and as a treatment for catatonic episodes. Then I was well for nearly 8 years and in the last 18 months I’ve had 2 acute courses of 6 sessions each, and over the last 12 months have had maintenance ECT being spaced out, which I am soon to stop.

I have bipolar 1. When I am depressed, I cannot function. My last episode 18 months ago, I lost 10kg in 6 weeks, couldn’t process eating or drinking, I couldn’t feed my cat, I couldn’t shower, I couldn’t have a conversation with people more than a few words. I felt like I had a marble rolling around my skull and was completely devoid of thought. I spent weeks just laying in my bed staring at the wall before I was hospitalised. When I’m in a mixed mood episode I am angry and >!suicidal!< and impulsive and a horrible person to be around with profound akathisia which is the most intolerable symptom of my bipolar.

I have been on medications over the years which have helped, but not as quickly or effectively as ECT. I work as a nurse - I can process complex medication calculations and equipment settings and process rapid fire situations well, which I absolutely couldn’t do when I was unwell or on the spiral of getting unwell, I live independently and I have a good support network. My relationships are back to “normal”, I don’t need to rely on my support network to care for me now.

It hasn’t been side effect free. I have no recollection of my most recent depressive episode - I think that is a combination of both my level of illness and the ECT combined. It wasn’t until ECT was spaced out to monthly that I started to feel like that cloud was lifting.

Please don’t tell me I’m wrong, because for me it was the right decision, even when it was made for me initially.

Wishing you all the best - the people for whom it didn’t help or caused more suffering and for those who are on this journey with me. I hope my experience can help someone.

I honestly don’t know where else to turn, so I’m hoping to hear from people who have experienced something similar.

I’m 27 years old and underwent ECT because I hoped it would help with my depression. Before the treatment, I was given the impression that my memory and cognitive abilities would fully recover and that ECT was an established, routine procedure.

From my perspective, I was not adequately informed about the possibility of longer-lasting or permanent cognitive problems. Several doctors told me that nothing would happen to my brain, that my symptoms were normal, and that I should continue with the treatment.

Before ECT, I was struggling psychologically, but I still had hope. I was able to take an interest in things, have relationships, make plans, and experience moments when I genuinely felt alive. I knew I had problems and I wanted to work on them.
Since around my 7th ECT session, something has fundamentally changed for me.

I feel like I can no longer properly participate in my own life. Everything feels strange and sometimes like I’m watching a movie. I feel detached from myself and from other people. Faces can sometimes appear lifeless or unfamiliar. My perception feels different; for example, colors sometimes appear much more intense. I experience severe derealization/depersonalization and sometimes extremely frightening thoughts and perceptions.
On top of that, I have significant cognitive problems:
severe word-finding difficulties
major problems with my short-term memory

I sometimes forget things within seconds
extremely poor concentration
memories from my life sometimes feel completely gone or inaccessible
I feel like I can no longer properly grasp who I am or access my own past
thoughts or words can seem to get stuck in my head and repeat or echo
I sometimes experience a strange pressure/pulsing sensation in my head
I am constantly exhausted and have almost no energy
I experience almost constant anxiety and nightmares
at times I have hallucination-like or psychosis-like
perceptions

The hardest part is that I no longer know which of these symptoms could be caused by my psychological condition and which could potentially be related to ECT.

Some of my doctors have told me that I am imagining many of these symptoms or that they are caused by my obsessive rumination. I know that I do ruminate very heavily, and that depression and anxiety can affect perception. But these changes feel so fundamental and so physically real to me that I cannot simply accept that I am imagining everything.
I keep asking myself:

What happened to me? What did I do to myself? And why was I told that everything would come back?

I expressed concerns before and during the treatment. I was told, among other things, that serious complications were rare and that the main relevant risk was the general risk associated with anesthesia. At the same time, I felt under significant pressure and felt that I had to make decisions very quickly.
Because of this, I now have serious doubts about whether I was adequately informed about all relevant risks before consenting to ECT.

The ECT was 2-3 months ago and my mother considers talking to a lawyer.

So, after ect I feel I am unable to watch any shows/video or play video games. Basically unable to consume mainstream media as I normally did before ect. Shows I'd normally watch without issue. I've seemingly lost interest in this which I found odd. It is not necessarily a bad thing, just very unexpected 😅

It is difficult to find other ways to spend my days now, and I get easily fatigued. BUT I actually managed to pull myself together and start cleaning my room which I haven't done in ages. I am also in the midst of changing my bed sheets after not being able to do so for almost two years (Yeah, super næsty, I know 😩) This is oddly nice. Makes up for the negative side effects such as the amnesia and cognitive impairment.

There’s a good chance I’ll be undergoing ECT soon and I’m terrified. I’ve seen mixed reviews elsewhere, heard first hand accounts from others that have ranged from life changing to debilitating but I came onto this subreddit hoping it would make me feel better, that I would find advice and success stories, but everything I’ve seen thus far is making me second guess this.

I am 23 years old suffering from bipolar type two. I was diagnosed at 17 and have undergone every treatment you can name, residential treatment, hospitalizations, ketamine therapy, TMS, every antipsychotic available to me, mood stabilizers, cbt, dbt, IFS, everything. Still, though, I’m having massive break through episodes. Hypomnaia has never been much of an issue for me but the depressive episodes are so severe that I become nearly catatonic, bedridden, so completely unstable that I have to rely on my parents again and again. I can’t hold a job and I’m never okay for more than a few months at a time. I’m tired of hurting my family with my mental issues and I want to get better. I want to change and I’m desperate to be functional again, I’m tired of grieving all the time, I want to be the daughter they deserve and the person I wish to be. My doctors are now recommending ECT and referring me to a clinic in my state. But I don’t want to lose my personality, nor my memories, nor that which makes me me. Am I making a mistake committing to this? I need honesty here, not the sugar coated half answers google and my doctors are feeding me. Will I lose who I am if I go through with this?

I’m a newly graduated MA with a good life and a wonderful family. I know I have a good future ahead of me if I could just figure out how to get past these depressive episodes. I don’t want to jeopardize that but I also don’t want to suffer anymore than I already have.

So, after ECT I wonder if a lot of the non-cognitive issues I have are from my antidepressant. It is just that I barely had any side effects prior to the ect. Could it be possible for the ect to make my body more prone to those side effects?

did anyone who had trouble with concentration motivation and procastination see any improvements?

I've just started a series. Obviously I can't drive on the same day as a treatment, but what about the days I don't have one? I'm getting it 3 days a week. Like I had one today, but I don't tomorrow. Can I drive tomorrow?

Sorry if I'm unclear, I just got it done.

Hi everyone,

Just wondering if ECT has significantly deteriorated anyone's quality of life?

I was in a psychiatric hospital in May and received ECT treatment. Since then, I have had severe brain fog, chronic depression and increased suicidal ideation. It has become so bad that I have had to quit a job I only started a few months ago.

In comparison, I excelled in high school, university and have had very demanding office jobs for the previous 8 years.

I have a psychologist who I have shared these concerns with, but I unfortunately can't get any psychiatric help to discuss this issue.

I'm gone. I'll never again have what I had, or be who I used to be, and I don't have faith that it'll get much better. I spend a lot of time grieving the capable woman I used to be; my old friendships; the skills I once had; my personality. Everything I was once so secure in is totally gone, and there's no way to get it back. Besides, once things change, how often do they really revert?

I'm so odd, but I can't see how. I can tell I'm not right, but I can't change back, oh God ...

I loved someone. So much. He can't see me like this, even if there was any possibility we'd ever reconnect. I don't ever want him to see how I devolved. We had a wonderful life together once, and I often think about how sad he'd be to know me now. I'm a lesser version of myself, and I'm so ashamed. Now that I'm back home, those I've re-encountered, they've noticed. When I watch their faces, I see sorrow for me wash over them, and I am so ashamed. As for those I knew and haven't known again since, I've had to let them go. They CAN'T see me like this!

I can't remember ANYTHING new. I have no working memory. I don't understand what I read anymore. My attention doesn't span. I can't ride public transportation because I just get so lost. Even with GPS, I don't know where I am, and sometimes, I don't even know how I got there.

If Daddy was still alive, what would he see in me? He'd break. He'd sob just how I'm doing right now.

I was way broken before the treatments, but now, I think I'm shattered beyond repair. I was desperate - truly desperate, but was all of this worth it???

Unilateral. 50 regular sessions in 2 years. My last one was 6 months ago.

please give me a hope im severely anhedonic after a year of psychosis and i trialed 18 meds and i just got worse to the point i cant feel subtances, anybody got better with ect? please i need your help guys