My mum is selling her only asset to my brother below market value am I being unreasonable?
I’m looking for some objective outside opinions because I genuinely can’t tell if I’m being unreasonable.
My mum has 5 children (3 don’t have contact with her due to her behaviour) I’m the youngest (30F) and my brother is 32M. Her townhouse is essentially her only significant asset. She’s financially struggling and owes my brother around $20k. He says he can’t keep lending her money so he’s buying the townhouse.
It’s worth roughly $600–650k as is, higher estimate is 800k although it needs some work. He’s buying it for somewhere around **$**500k, and they’ve already had legal advice and are proceeding.
I understand that she owes my brother 20k and he should get that back, what I struggle with is that Mum initially offered me $5k, plus some of my grandfather’s inheritance which I believe I’m entitled to anyway and may never receive (he hates my mum and she didn’t receive anything from her mother either). The 5k offer felt insulting.
I’m a single F30 with no assets, living on one nursing income. I’ve spent years studying and making significant financial sacrifices to build a stable future. My brother is in a different financial position with investment properties, 2 income streams and works as a buyers agent.
I also think he needs to implement boundaries and not accept that he will be financially responsible for her indefinitely. My brother can’t be expected to keep lending her money but equally she needs to take responsibility for living within her means. Buying the house may solve the immediate problem, but it shouldn’t be a case of if I don’t buy the house I have to fund her life (she receives a pension, is 70yo, owns her home, barely leaves her suburb).
My mum has also always talked about how devastated she was when her parents sold their family home to her sister and gave her nothing. So it feels particularly hurtful that I’m now potentially in a similar position.
My brother has also said, “You’re lucky I’m working with you on this,” which really upset me. I’m his little sister, not someone he should be negotiating against.
They’ve now offered me around 40k for a deposit for a home but that doesn’t seem fair given the instant equity he’d receive and up to 300k in profit from selling.
There’s also a lot of history here. I’m the youngest of five and my relationship with Mum has involved significant childhood trauma. I’ve often felt like I’ve had to be the parent by helping her practically, emotionally and financially, unfortunately my brother is still under her spell. I think part of what hurts is seeing friends whose parents help them build their futures, while I feel like I’m being left with almost nothing. If I were a mother with one major asset, I’d want to help my children where I could.
What would you do in this situation? Is it reasonable for me to ask for a more transparent and equitable arrangement or am I being entitled by feeling that it isn’t fair given the potential benefit my brother is receiving?