▲ 231 r/dadjokes
I just ran into Matt Damon at the thrift store, searching for a new pair of jeans
He was Goodwill hunting
u/Hour_Pizza3512 — 11 days ago
▲ 8 r/dadjokes
I found out that you can skip medical school and get your MD on Facebook.
Now I’m a Metaphysician
u/Hour_Pizza3512 — 20 days ago
▲ 72 r/dadjokes
My wife wanted to go out to a restaurant. I spent an hour complaining about it, but then I gave in as usual.
I like to whine and dine her.
u/Hour_Pizza3512 — 20 days ago
▲ 5 r/dadjokes
What’s at the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A stick
u/Hour_Pizza3512 — 3 months ago
▲ 40 r/dadjokes
Shirley MacLaine once asked Leslie Neilson for a date.
He said, “Don’t call me, Shirley.”
u/Hour_Pizza3512 — 3 months ago
▲ 5 r/dadjokes
What do you call robots in tuxedos?
Artificial Intelligents.
u/Hour_Pizza3512 — 3 months ago
▲ 1 r/dadjokes
What did the Italian chef say when he tried Rocky Mountain Oysters?
That’s’a spicy ballmeat!
u/Hour_Pizza3512 — 5 months ago
▲ 2 r/dadjokes
I have friends that ride Apple bikes, and friends that ride Windows bikes, but I like to be different.
I’m the weirdo riding a Unixcycle
u/Hour_Pizza3512 — 5 months ago
▲ 4 r/dadjoke
I was terrified when the judge sentenced me to the guillotine
I must have separation anxiety
u/Hour_Pizza3512 — 5 months ago
▲ 5 r/dadjokes
My date said she wanted to go Dutch at the restaurant.
So why was I the only one wearing wooden clogs?
u/Hour_Pizza3512 — 5 months ago
▲ 4 r/dadjokes
My date showed up at the restaurant in wooden clogs.
She wants to go Dutch
u/Hour_Pizza3512 — 5 months ago
▲ 156 r/dadjokes
This morning I was passed on the highway by a pickup truck pulling a trailer full of donkeys.
Dude was hauling ass.
u/Hour_Pizza3512 — 5 months ago
▲ 6 r/dadjokes
How do you know you’re doing too many kegels?
‘Taint hard
u/Hour_Pizza3512 — 5 months ago