u/HouseCareful997

hello 👋🏻 hoping for some advice
as an AuDHD parent who has 2 kids with AuDHD, i’ve noticed a lot of parenting advice for ND (neurodivergent) parenting tends to focus on allistic parents of ND kids.
has anyone found good resources for ND parents of ND kids?
also wondering if other ND parents have struggled to feel like they can help their kids? I was late diagnosed and have a lot of my own struggles ofc, so I feel like idk how to support my kids learning social skills or not masking, etc.
providers are encouraging various therapies obviously (my younger child was just diagnosed last month) and idk where to start.
ABA seemed super helpful for teaching my older child functional skills (recognizing facial expressions, knowing their birthday and other important facts, cause/effect) but now i’m hearing so many folks having had terrible experiences with it so i’m hesitant to start ABA for my son. my older child does mask but idk how much of that has to do with them being AFAB (assigned female at birth) and how much has to do with having been in ABA…
rn both kids are only in play therapy, but i’ve been encouraged to do OT, ABA, maybe PT.
i’m also frankly a little stumped with my son’s autism presentation. obviously every autistic person has different strengths and struggles, but he’s so different to me and my other child that it’s just taking me a second to wrap my brain around it 😂 a big difference is that my other child and I are both sensory avoidant, but he is extremely sensory seeking. does anyone have experience or advice with having these super different neurotypes under one roof?
any advice/resources?? anything is appreciated. 🙏
thanks in advance for your compassion and any ideas you may have!