u/Huge-Macaroon-9114

Im a pre t ftm and my girlfriend mtf, when she started hormones at first i was grieving our sex life, because she warned me that 'it wouldn't get up' and it did happen for a while, after that, she started getting horny again and it was working, i thought maybe her hormones are regulated now? Anyways, lately, we are back on it not working, and its awkward as in my partner tries but fails and feels embarrassed. The last times we have done it, she doesnt last either, and it leaves me unsatisfied. It feels miserable. I am grieving again what it was once our sex life and i don't know what to do, as it feels like a big part in our relationship has died (we wouldn't be togueter if we didnt happen to connect in a way we had sex the 3rd day after meeting). And yes, i can live without sex, its not a reason why i am in a relationship, but in this particular relationship it feels like a vital part, as it helps me feel loved by her.

Edit: At the start of my relationship all i focused was on to please her (it didnt help she kinda didn'tcare about pleasing me but moreso focused on pleasing herself) but i learnt that my pleasure matters too.

I'm so scared to start testosterone and how the people around me are going to react to the changes. My coworkers, my parents, my aunts, my grandmother, my college classmates, who don't know I'm trans. I'm scared because I know they're going to see me differently and make comments, see me as weird or say I'm crazy. I also don't want to have to explain myself to others; in PR, people are very transphobic and ignorant. Obviously that won't stop me, but it feels like the fear is all consuming.

Soy del área sur y estoy cansado de hot topic, charlotte russe y burlington. Recomienden tiendas online que no esten sumamente caras para ropa alt, pueden ser de segunda mano, he escuchado de depop pero he escuchado que es caro.