u/Human-Couple2948

Hi all,

I think I know for a fact the answer is yes, but because of the way I’m manipulated, I’ve been taught to second-guess it. Some reinforcement and enlightenment would be appreciated :)

Though the dysfunctional nature of my childhood was hefty, I’ll keep this as brief as possible:

After the age of 10, my mum lost interest in attempting to educate me and I had to be self-taught. I essentially taught myself every thing I know. Even when it came to basic division, that was all me.

When I hit 12-13, my situation worsened and my isolation became a lot worse. I only left the house about once a month, and this was most of the time to a dentist/Doctors appointment about a made-up ailment (I had to make up illnesses and aches and pains just to get some fresh air). I was even labelled as ‘selfish’ from my mum for suggesting I go shopping (with my own money) for my 14th birthday.

She is massively overprotective and will triple-check things with me all the time; this increases my stress as it then convinces me I’ve forgotten something or have got it incorrect, whereas I never would’ve given it thought beforehand. She makes me hyper-alert and overly cautious (in situations where I needn’t be), and it’s an exhausting and limiting way to live life, especially because I’m an adult, in a relationship, with a full-time job, yet I still feel babied and despondent from my childhood, and the mistreatment I still receive today.

She would become abrasive whenever I mentioned the idea of going to public school, and she was dead-set against it, because apparently I had no autonomy or ability to independently think. She made the decision for me even though I was miserable, and I was severely depressed between the ages of 13-14, yet she had little interest in helping me.

This is a condensed version of what my childhood was like. I had no friends after the age of about 12, I rarely left the house and had to make up reasons to, I taught myself everything - those are the Big Three that affect me to this day, that is not including her foul and helicopter-parenting way of speaking to me.

Many thanks if you’ve read this far and/or posted a comment of support. :)

Hi all,

I’m not sure if this is the right Subreddit to post this in, and I will also post this in the Home Education Reddit (this will make sense shortly). Any help or redirection would be appreciated as I’m not well-versed on this website, but am desperately seeking some advice and enlightenment. :)

My mother mollycoddled me and isolated me growing up. I can only recall it happening after the age of about 10, but perhaps I was just too young to deepen it at the time. I grew up home-educated but after I hit the age of 10, all studying came to a halt and I was left to my own devices, having to educate myself. I still proudly boast about how I taught myself essentially everything I know, because that isn’t an easy way to navigate your childhood.

Then when I hit the age of 12-13, this isolation increased and I was only leaving the house about once or twice a month. I used to have to make up I had some ailment or my braces were hurting just so I could go out and get some fresh air, even if the conditions were murky and I was only going to the Doctors - it was better than another day at home.

My mum was adamant that I couldn’t enter the schooling system, and when I begged to go around the age of 13-14, she shouted at me and I was so alarmed, I then dropped the subject even though I longed for my education to flourish. Because of my alienation, when I suggested to go shopping for my 14th birthday, she said I was ‘selfish’. She randomly said I was going to grow up to be a prostitute, even though I was incredibly young and by no means stereotypically promiscuous. She said my sister was going to grow up to get AIDs and die. She used to squeeze my thighs and tell me to do some light exercise. She would always pull the ‘report us then and see what happens’ card when I made any complaint about my quality of life.

When I was 19 (which is how old I am now), I got my first boyfriend. Problematically, he is a colleague of mine, but the company I work at is quite laissez-faire with that sort of thing. My mum detests the fact I’ve got a partner even though when she isn’t getting involved, I’m truly the happiest I’ve ever been. She called my boyfriend a ‘dirty man’, and criticised his weight, and despite her unsatisfactory comments, she keeps joking about how she thinks I might be pregnant which is making me extremely uncomfortable, like she’s getting some weird kick out of the thought of it.

My mums blatant distaste towards my boyfriend really brought me down at the start of our relationship, and I fell into alcholicism. I won’t go into the ins or out’s, but my addiction became noticed by my mum yet she didn’t intervene at all. She knew I was drinking myself silly. (Don’t worry, I’m much better and in control now). Don’t get me wrong, I hate how my boyfriend and I can’t have a conventional relationship dynamic because of my mums involvement, but I’ve learnt to cope better.

Believe it or not, my stories don’t end there, but those are just some that have been occupying my min lately. What would you guys recommend to cope as I’m still in the same household as her, yet her presence is restricting the life I want to lead, as she’s in full control and is overprotective to a crazy degree? I am working full-time and do have the financial freedom to move out, but she’s trying to limit that part of my life, too. (We gasp in surprise!)

Many thanks to anyone who’s read this post. A mere view means a lot to me :)