u/Humanrights017

Curious what people think of these behaviours during SIL (29F) wedding. For context, I have a really difficult relationship with my in-laws - have never felt welcome by them, and have experienced a decent amount of bullying from them. I have even experienced physical aggression from BIL. But for the sake of keeping the peace for SIL I did my best to just stay composed as much as possible.

For the ceremony, SIL reserved seats in the first two rows for family and bridal party. My (32 F) fiancée’s (33 M) name was reserved but mine was not, so I not only was not sitting next to him but also not even close to / behind him. He ultimately moved seats to sit next to me in the back and gave his reserved seat to someone else.
I cried about this in private with my partner because of historical issues with his family, but I’m not sure if getting upset was the right thing to do. Should I just have pretended like it didn’t hurt so that he went to sit in the front with everyone else?

My partner and I never received actual invitations or save the dates. Just a text with a link to the wedding website and a text from his mother. I think SIL texted my fiance with the link but he had to clarify whether a +1 was included.

I was not included in any family photos. I didn’t expect this as they’ve been petty and exclusionary in the past, but wasn’t sure if it’s typically expected that fiancées / longer-term partners / spouses are included in some family photos? This also hurt me.

BIL’s girlfriend was invited to get ready with everyone but I was not. She’s been dating BIL for 8 months. Again, wasn’t expecting an invite but just seems strange.

Just wondering how much of this is “normal” behaviour and what is rude when it comes to family etiquette at weddings. I was composed throughout the day as much as possible but when it came time to dancing at around 9:30 pm I was emotionally exhausted and asked my partner if we could go for a walk. I felt like I was going to burst into tears after my BIL made petty comments and his girlfriend called me crazy.

We went for a walk, ended up back in the hotel room, and never went back to the party. AITA for leaving?

I (F29) was at my partner’s (M31) sister’s wedding and felt excluded throughout the day, which has left me feeling quite upset, despite setting my expectations low to begin with.

First off, I never got an invitation (nor did my partner) or a message about the wedding. His mom texted us the details.

During the getting-ready part of the day, my partner’s brother’s girlfriend (they’ve been together about 8 months) was included in wedding preparations and was actively involved, including helping with bridesmaids’ hair. I wasn’t invited to participate.

At the ceremony, seating arrangements also added to that feeling. My partner was seated in the front row with his family, while I was placed separately and not alongside him, which made me feel quite visibly disconnected from him during the main part of the day. I was quite upset when I saw that so he sat with me. Of course the BIL’s girlfriend of 8 months sat in the front with the family.

Later, during photos, I wasn’t included at all in any of the group pictures I saw happening, which made the feeling of being on the outside even stronger. It felt like I wasn’t naturally being integrated into the family or the day in a meaningful way, despite being his fiancée of several years and engaged to be married.

We ended up leaving at around 9:30 after his brother started to get aggressive again and his brother’s gf called me crazy under her breath.

So happy I don’t have to do another wedding with these people until our own.