u/Humble_Shallot178

I’m 22F. My ex is 26M and the new guy I met is 27M.

My ex and I were together for 1 year and 4 months. He’s genuinely not a bad person. He was loyal, hardworking, caring, and I know he loved me. But over time, I started feeling emotionally exhausted because of repeated dishonesty and feeling emotionally dismissed.

A few weeks ago, he went to a team building and ignored my calls/messages while taking bikini pictures of some female coworkers. I told him afterward how hurt and ignored I felt. He apologized and promised not to make me feel that way again.

Then later, I found out he was eating lunch with those same coworkers and hid it from me. I asked him directly multiple times and he denied it until finally admitting it. The lying hurt me more than the lunch itself.

The final thing that broke me was when I opened up about an old wound because I needed reassurance and comfort, and he basically told me it happened a long time ago already and I should move on from it. I know maybe he got tired of hearing about it, but I felt emotionally dismissed and alone.

A few days after the breakup, I unexpectedly met a Russian guy. We’ve only met 3 times, but he honestly made me realize certain things I think I was missing emotionally.

When he sees me, he greets me with a hug or kiss and actually looks excited to see me. When I’m walking toward him, he watches me and smiles at me. Meanwhile with my ex, there were times I’d arrive and he’d just stay looking at his phone like he didn’t even notice me yet.

The Russian guy compliments me a lot, thanks me for showing up, gives me little affectionate scratches/touches, opens doors for me, and gives me his full attention when we’re together. He makes me feel soft, feminine, wanted, and emotionally cared for in a way I didn’t fully realize I was craving.

What’s confusing me now is that after breaking up with my ex… I honestly don’t feel devastated. I’m not breaking down crying. I’m not even that sad. If anything, I mostly feel calm and relieved, which honestly surprises me because I really did love him.

Now I’m wondering if this means I emotionally checked out of the relationship long before the breakup happened.

I just want honest opinions because I feel guilty for not hurting more.

For context he was once out with his coworkers for team building and I was jealous when I found out he was the one taking their bikini pictures while I was calling him for updates and he didn’t even respond.

Now, I saw one of his coworker’s story and he was having dinner with those girls but I know they don’t have a romantic relationship with my boyfriend because those girls are also taken.

I asked him if he was eating dinner with them and he denied and later asked what did he wear or did he eat the specific food on that story and he denied for many times and even asked him if he was sure and told me he was very sure.

I knew he lied and so I broke up with him. Tbh, I almost wanted to believe it was not him (the video taken was only his top and pants which I know it was him). He told me it was long time ago before our argument about his team building but then he told me the truth afterwhile that it really was last night.

For his defense, he didnt want me to be jealous that he was hanging out with other girls. I was shaking when I heard his lies because I really wanted to trust him but now he’s giving me another reason to not trust him.

I am hurt that he is just willing to lose me by lying on a simple question.

I just want to hear your thoughts and advice.