u/HummingbirdsAllegory

Living with the guilt that I might have given my boyfriend chlamydia

I’m crying typing this. I finally worked up the courage to get tested for everything after six months of constant worrying. I don’t have my results yet. But I just feel like it’s going to be positive. We are each other’s first full sexual partners. The only way I could have gotten and given him chlamydia is through a fingering incident two years ago—yes, I’m aware that while it’s rare, that it could lead to a chlamydia infection. I feel so stupid. I genuinely didn’t know I had it if I gave it to him. I didn’t think I’d have to worry about this because I don’t remember any fluid, but it seems like the one thing that could have happened.

The reason I’m worried is because in January, we went to the urgent care with testicular pain that came and went with physical activity. He didn’t have any swelling or redness, but he had tenderness on both sides, which they diagnosed at the urgent care as epididymitis (bilateral). They asked if he had been sick recently, to which he replied he had a sinus infection. They chalked it up to that causing the pain, but I can find no evidence of that happening online. The closest thing I can find is about mumps, which I really don’t think he had. They didn’t test him there, but they have him doxycycline for the sinus infection according to his notes. Not even for the supposed Epididymal tenderness. He did go back about a month later for something else and requested an STI test because he knew I was so affected by it. It came back negative. HOWEVER, he had five days of doxycycline for the sinus infection, which I know also just happens to be what wipes out chlamydia.

Sorry for the long post. I recognize that I’m so dumb. I didn’t have any sexual contact until I was like 30 (the manual stimulation) and didn’t think anything of it. I know that my boyfriend is supposedly free of it now if he had it, and that it’s just an antibiotic to treat it. But I still feel such guilt.

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u/HummingbirdsAllegory — 3 days ago

The waiting is so hard

I got tested for everything (HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis, etc.) on Monday. I had to go back because there was some lab mixup with my urine test. That was yesterday. Now I’m in limbo waiting.

My exposure was just fingering, but I know that fluids can still get to you with that and put you at risk for some things. I feel so dumb. They just did my tests and didn’t ask me anything, but that’s the story—I’m worried that fingering led me to getting everything. I understand that for chlamydia, gonorrhea, and some other things that it could happen. For hiv, not really, although I’m having a hard time believing Google and think I have symptoms.

Sorry for venting. I’m just really scared. I’m not sexually experienced at all. This is my first time doing this and I never thought I’d have to be in this position until a recent scare.

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u/HummingbirdsAllegory — 4 days ago

HIV anxiety taking over my life

On paper, I had no real exposure (sex, needle sharing, etc.), but I swear I’m having symptoms two years after the supposed exposure. Like very specific. I am convinced I must be the first person to have gotten it that way. I’m too afraid to go get a test, although realistically that’s probably my only chance at getting through this. My symptoms just seem too specific to be a coincidence.

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u/HummingbirdsAllegory — 22 days ago