u/HumpmyDumpy1911

Sure part of it was the lifestyle changes I made. Eating healthier and getting back into lifting and starting martial arts

But when we were dating I never had time for myself. Always had to manage her emotions. I went back and forth between gaining weight due to stress eating or losing weight due to not being able to eat from the stress of what she was doing

Even getting my yearly physical done, my doctor pointed out the massive improvement from the time period of when I was discarded to now.

She on the other hand is constantly going in and out of other health issues

I think the stress of dealing with her was killing my physical and mental health. And when I wasn't around to be her punching vag then she started taking it out on herself. Because I don't see how all she could have to be in and out of the hospital constantly.

But then again this info was coming from the friends who sided with her during he discard even after she revealed she was abusing me, so chances are they're trying to make me feel bad for her

She basically took those two in the discard. And even though when the truth of the abuse I suffered at the hands of her came out. They still feel bad enough for her to let her stay there rent free, covering all of her payments, and she can't even look after herself.

What makes me angry is they will have the GALL to vent to me about how much stress shes under and how horrible she's doing and how stressed out they all are.

And yet will get defensive when I point out how she abused me.

So its okay for them to vent about all the stress she's causing them, but the moment I remind then of what she did, its not okay?

Are they even my friends?

Even back when I was practicing Paganism, I had a friend ask me about Catholicism because she knew I was raised in the church. I answered questions as best as I could. She ended up becoming a devout catholic and I ended up finding my way back to church.

However after some traumatic stuff happened, I fell away from the church again.

But once again, a former coworker has been asking me about God and I just say that I don't have all the answers but that I'll try to help her on her journey as best as possible.

And this has happened multiple times, with some army buddies asking me about the faith, or friends telling me they've turned to God.

And I'm happy for them. I truly am.

But I don't understand how I can talk to others and help them with their faith while I struggle to understand it myself

My ex girlfriend had BPD. And well, she screwed with my head so much to the point I had a nervous breakdown. And she turned our two mutual friends against me.

Now luckily I had physical proof about what she was doing to me, so I screenshotted the texts (She didn't think I would do that) and sent it as proof.

Sadly, they still were like 'Oh, but she's having a hard time, she didn't mean it, you have to understand she's been through a lot'

They completely downplayed what she put me through and when she started therapy allegedly she was making 'realizations' about how much abuse she went through.

But the sad part is I don't believe her anymore, I know BPD has to be caused by something traumatic in the past. But the fact that she's done a complete 180 about her life story is just so jarring that I think its a bunch of BS.

It also doesn't help that my former mutual friends keep enabling her behavior. She's been unemployed for nearly a year now, has her car and bills paid by them for her. She doesn't contribute anything to the friendship other than them dealing with her split episodes.

They even tried to VENT to me about how stressful it is for them to be dealing with her bills and her car payments while she gets back on her feet.

Sometimes I think I'm crazy because 'How did I tolerate this kind of behavior and toxicity for so long from her?'

If this was before her split episode, I would probably be trying to comfort her and letting her know I wasn't going anywhere. But because the person I dated and the person who dumped me were two completely different people. Heres what I think.

1. When my friends confronted her on what she was doing, she realized she needed to say something happened to her to gain sympathy before they kicked her out

2. She may have gone through this traumatic stuff but not nearly to the same extent as she said

3. The only reason she hasn't hoovered me is because she's getting her new high from the two mutual friends

4. Despite going to therapy, I think she learned just enough to mask everything, because no way someone gets better from BPD after only 8 months of DBT

My ex dumped me a year ago, and it was BRUTAL.

Now a year later my friend started texting me about her again, at first it was upates on her health and how she's not doing well.

But the weird thing was he said she had tried to attempt to date again, but after she got back from the date 'All she could do was compare you to him in private, saying you were better, more caring, and you put effort into dates and that the quality of time spent was better.'

Not only that but she called me more 'grown up' which is weird because when she dumped me she tried to tell me 'I didn't know anything about the real world'

Now she's saying the complete opposite.

At first I thought he was messing with me, but then he clearly stated that she hasn't had a relationship since because she's either been in and out of the hospital for appointments or she complains that other guys don't put in as much effort as I did.

I know I should be happy I raised the standard, but honestly its also frustrating because why didn't she appreciate me when she had me?