u/HungryEvidence2835

Summary: How do I come out as trans to my extended family after I have already been medically transitioning for 1.5 year and socially for 6?

I have technically been out to my parents for 6 years (officially for a little less than that), my brother for 5, and I have been taking T for 1.5 years. My immediate family is supportive, but I choose to still let them call me my birth name because I don’t really have any qualms about it.

Here is my issue: I have never come out to my extended family (except for my cousins on my mom’s side). I am starting to get to the point where I can no longer pass as a woman around them and they are questioning my voice.

I never came out to them because it took me a long time for my parents to finally accept me and the thought of coming out to anyone is one of the scariest things I can think of. I went to therapy for 5 years and the fear of coming out did not change.

Now my question is: how do I come out to them? Should I send a text (individually or group text)? Should I say something in person? Should I make my parents say something?

I am a bit lost because this does cause me so much anxiety.

Ps. I only see these relatives like 1-2x a year.

I have been on T for almost 1.5 years (woo!), but I have only really been passing for about a month. I was on a combo birth control for the first year of T and that really put me behind in my changes, but going off it has expedited my changes.

I am working on voice training a bit, but am not really sure how to do so. I heard trying to sing deeper songs helps, but other tips would be much appreciated.

I have been clocked by so many women lately and it is kinda disheartening. I am not sure about men, because they only use he for me (except for when the women call me they).

I wear masculine clothes and I think the only thing clocky about me is my voice (I slip sometimes into a higher register when I am excited), my boobs (I bind, but they are perky), and my soft face.

I think for my face all I can do is wait, but it really gets to me every time a woman uses they or asks my pronouns because it means I dont pass.

Any tips of how you changed any thing to be more stealth would be very helpful!

Ps. When being greeted by a man is it nod up or down?

I have had nightmares all my life in which I do something small, like step on an ant, and it starts the end of the world. In these I wake up, or think I do, and am able to move around and talk to ask for help so someone can actually wake me up.

When I was younger I had one of these dreams, but part of the world ending had me in the most pain I have ever felt in my life. This triggered me to walk to my parent’s bedroom and tell them I was stuck in a nightmare and it was very painful. I then asked them to wake me up because I was still somewhat asleep and wanted out of this dream. I woke later and asked my parents if it really happened and they told me they were super scared due to me telling them I was stuck in a dream and needed to be woken up.

I know during these that I am dreaming, but am unable to wake myself. I dont think it is a false awakening because I am actually able to move around and talk and others have told me so.

I wonder maybe because I am an avid sleep walker/talker I am able to do this. Im not entirely sure.

I wonder if this is maybe lucid dreaming, but I somehow cannot wake myself?

I get occasional nightmares where I am stuck in a dream, am aware I am asleep, am able to move, but cannot wake myself up from it. I am trying to figure out if this is sleep paralysis or not and am confused because I can move while I am in this state. I am not exactly able to control where I am moving, and I seem to only automatically go to certain places, but I can move regardless.

When I was younger I had a nightmare that was physically painful. I found myself walking to my parent’s bedroom and told them that I was having a nightmare that was really painful, but I couldn’t wake up from it and I needed them to wake me. I cannot wake myself from these and can only either get woken up by someone else, or wait till I snap out of it.
Does this sound like sleep paralysis?