My father said a disgusting joke over a year ago and I’m still nauseous.
I (19F) am in the process of cutting off my bio father after he cheated on my stepmom.
A little context, my parents divorced when I was 3. My mother found him cheating on several people at once and one was with one of his employees which costed him his job. My father was also on probation at the time for a relationship involving a minor, he was 21 at the time. My mom left him, both her and my father remarried the same year only a year or two following the finalization of the divorce. I got to see my dad on weekends and lived with my mom and stepdad on weekdays, but sometimes he would skip his weekends. I only found out a few years ago he would complain about wanting to see me, his mother would force him to pick me up, and my stepmom would cry because he would refuse to see me.
When I was at dad’s house I thought they had the happiest marriage and they were this visage of perfect true love. They showed affection to each other, used pet names, and were very clearly in love with one another. They went to church on Sundays, prayed over dinner, hung bible verses on their walls.
After an argument with my stepmom, my dad pulled me outside and confessed he was having an affair with the neighbor and he told me to tell no one. I wanted to run inside and tell her and I cried for hours. I had this guilt that my dad didn’t ever love her and I felt horrible for loving him. He was my hero and when everything came out, I knew my life would probably be better far away from him.
My stepmom eventually found out about the whole thing when she saw him kissing her on the security camera when she was out of town visiting her parents, and she divorced him on the spot, took away all of her pensions and military benefits out from under him, and kicked him out of their house. He decided the best course of action was to go live with this woman, whom he made me meet as if I’d love her as my new mom. Her family doesn’t know about any of what he’s done to the women he’s been with or how they even got together.
Now, before all of that happened, way before that all came to light, my dad made a disgusting joke in his hot tub when me and my boyfriend were hanging out with him and it makes me ill when I think about it.
I absolutely have to warn you that the joke I am about to type out involves CSA (not towards anyone in particular) and as a survivor it made me stare in disbelief that he could even say this. If that makes you uncomfortable in any way, no one is forcing you to see it. This is the joke that was my first warning sign to cut him off…
>!How do you make a kid cry twice? Wipe your bloody!< >!🍆!< >!on his teddy bear.!<
I cried that night. I still cry. I’ve gotten sick thinking about the joke too long or what went wrong in his head that he could think I’d find it funny.
So uh… with all of that said… I guess I should absolutely cut him off without a shadow of a doubt, right? Still in contact with stepmom and we bond over how horrible he is and her and my mom and very close friends bonding over the trauma he gave them.