u/I-touch_

hello dear addicted players. this is what i feel nowadays. and the ones who have a proper lives, you guys are welcome to flame my weakness too...

i dont play league that much actually, 5 games a day tops. when i hop on the game and after the lock screen i see the enemy champions, an instant adrenaline rushes to my body, my heart goes PUMP PUMP PUMP doesnt matter what elo my opponent is and the champion they picked, doesnt matter how much i counter them with my pick the first 5 minutes of the game starts playing in my brain, i see them throwing their skills and their ability animations so i can dodge them. looking at the wiki for their skill cast durations so i can decide if i need a boot. but doesnt matter how sure i am about the match ups i allways question myself and miss the first skill.(the first two skills are allways a mental war between me and my opponent, or i like to think it that way)

at the rift, control is at me. i pick the champion, i decide the runes, i decide if im gonna put the skill right at the opponent or to where it will dodge. if i lose the lane, i probably didnt ward, didnt listen the infos my teammates gave or i didnt followed the map, didnt check if opponent has ignite or miscalculated the damage it can or i can output.

at real life, my family and my friends do bad decisions, mostly it is about addictions. i cant change them. especially my family. im at the college, i have good grades and i think if i dont waste myself on this game, i will have a bright future. but doesnt matter what i do i cant change the ones i love. i tried it very little though... my families bad decisions effect me mentally. my friends decisions effect theirself. but i hate it. why? why would someone do that to itself. to others?

at rift, someone elses decisions effect me too, but i can allways do better to neutralize it. i can do almost everything. i like that feel. the control i have, i love it. i play it to run away. run away from the decisions others do. wun away from everything bad. at the rift, all is about me.

maybe i lose the game sometimes because of others, a fed adc or a split pusher sion. i ask to myself, is that the best i could do? was the game lost at the moment i clicked Ready!

mostly no... i could pick an anti tank who can one shot others too like vel'koz, i needed at least one cc to kill that vayne, i could pick better, actually no, lulu was an ok player i could play with it...

i could do better. and the more i play the less i say it to myself.