u/ICantExplainItAll

I feel like I have a lot of sensory issues probably due to neurodivergence in a lot of way and when something is bad sensory-wise (for example I was just cutting my dinner and the knife scraped against the fork in a way that was really awful) it will trigger my tics horribly. And worse, then my mind just keeps replaying whatever experience over and over in my head and triggering my tics again and again. I get some of my worst/most extreme tics this way. Anyone else?

Sometimes I feel like the only solution to ticcing out is just blasting my retinas with stimulation to distract me. And if I put my phone down I start ticcing again immediately. I really wish there was a way to not just immediately go to burying my face in my phone when I wanna stop ticcing.

I had to supress a lot today and I reached a point where I'm not having any tics but I also just feel completely totally detached from my surroundings. I'm not sure if the suppression caused the dissociation or if my brain has learned to just dissociate in order to suppress.

But it's a terrible feeling and I would like to stop feeling this way. Yeah I'm not ticcing at all atm (which in and of itself is weird cuz I'm always at least doing little ones) but I feel like. Dead inside. Literally feel like this emoji rn 🫥