u/I__want__a__username

Are you tired of the injustices of the world? Are you running away from debts? Do you want to honor your childhood self's thirst for exploration?

Whatever your reasons, I've got you covered. Change your world, come live in UD3-38119!

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Hello everyone, I am UD3-38119, a very recently spawned world. Since getting a permission to generate intelligent life takes literally billions of years, I am looking for motivated and adventurous individuals from other worlds to come live here in the next 2-3 months.

The competition in the world-housing market is dreadful right now, both for seekers and sellers, but, being such a young world, I can offer perks that many bigger worlds are unable to sustain. In particular, my strengths are:

• extremely lax laws of physics
• up to 10 spacial dimensions per user
• very little space debris
• no local gods/demiurges/divinities requiring worship
• dark night sky that favors sleep (light hasn't had the time to travel far in the universe yet)
• high receptiveness to user feedback

Additionally, while I currently have only 2 habitable planets (I'll add more once new people move in), each of them has a delicious Kebab place*.

So, what are you waiting for? Come be the first inhabitant of UD3-38119**! I'll be waiting for you with open arms!

See you all very soon!

*Staff not included.

**The first 2 individuals to sign a contract for residence in UD3-38119 will receive in conjunction a full-time job as kebab maker (non-negotiable).

Basically, I was feeling so hungry that I could eat a horse, so I went to Earth to grab one of those. However, while returning home, I noticed that my horse was being very noisy. I observed it up close and, would you look at that? There was a human on the back of my meal! A whole, living human!

At that point I kinda panicked and immediately turned back, but Earth spins a lot, so I could no longer find where I had taken my meal from.

Can I, like, just drop the human on a random corner of Earth and trust it to find its way back home? Or should I contact the rescue services?

Update: In the end I did call the rescue services. They explained to me that it's very common to find humans on horses, but they normally get off as soon as you reach from the sky to grab your food. In my case, however, it'd appear that the human had been tied to the horse, possibly due to being a prisoner or sacrifice of sorts, and that's why it couldn't leave. Anyways, the rescue services managed to locate the time and space the human was from and we put it back into its clan, where it was promptly decapitated.

Thanks y'all for your help on the matter!