u/Iber_Music

I (soon to be 23M) have always suffered from anxiety from looking at people, being perceived and called out for being inaporporiate and creepy. I don't need to be attracted to the person I'm looking at (which is often women of all ages and kids in general) for this irrational fear to be triggered. I also have POCD and staring OCD (among others).

After a situation a bit ago, I searched "why am I afraid of looking at people and being noticed?" The first result that appeared was the term "scopophobia".

I was wondering if it's common for OCD (specifically pure O and sexual OCD sufferers) to have this phobia.

In precisely 1 month, it will turn 1 full year since LO found out I had feelings for her, rejected me and asked for some distance. She still follows me on social media though.

She was at an annual city fair, even spent some time with my best friend before I arrived, who's a mutual friend. That how I knew she was there.
Even after being mostly recovered from limerence, I was kinda hoping I found her.

Closer to the end, I saw her with 3 of her friends. First, I wasn't sure it was her, cos I didn't see her face, but the glasses were very similar, and she was looking down while she passed by me, as if she wanted to avoid eye contact and to be seen. That made me realize she was avoiding me.

Later, when I left the fair, already in crisis mode, I found her walking ahead of me on her way back home, still with her friends. We crossed paths again, and when I heard her voice, I knew it was her.

At that moment I wanted to cease to exist ;-;