u/IceClear543

I (21F) and my ex (21M) had been together for two years.

Two months ago, I found chats on his ipad with two girls.

I had a feeling that he had cheated on me because he was acting weird ever since he came back from his US trip.

When he was showing me his photos on his phone, I saw a screenshot of a girl's hinge profile, upon asking him, he first got really mad at me that I was the one finding reasons to fight and later told me that his friend used his photo for a hinge profile. I bought it. And mostly ignored it because he kept getting mad. But it was a screenshot I didn't know how it appeared on his phone..

A few days later, I deliberately checked his ipad and saw those chats.

They insinuated that he had sex with this girl and they met up multiple times and were sexting as well,

With the second girl, the chats showed that he had bought a keychain for her which I told him to buy for me ( and he specifically told me that they were sold out).

I showed all this to him and asked him to leave my house immediately but he still insisted that it was his friend texting through his phone.

With a lot of effort I kicked him out of the house but it really hurt me that he had zero accountability and never even apologized once.

Instead he kept blaming me that it was my fault and that we broke up because we both effed up.

I was doing fine last month because he was a horrible boyfriend to begin with ( gave me no space, was terrible with boundaries, imposed restrictions on clothes, who I talked to and didn't let me go out much) although these qualities were more prominent in the first year of our relationship and he had improved this year but still us breaking up gave me a lot of mental peace and i was happy.

But this month, idk what's wrong with me, I keep crying and blaming myself, it's even more horrible to see him enjoying and living a normal life while I am crying my eyes out everyday.

Sometimes I feel like I could never be normal again .

I also feel really alone, I lost all my friends because of him and now I am all alone. He has a lot of friends whom he lied to about the reason of our breakup and now he gets a lot of sympathy.

He's also really doing well in college and sports and has also probably found a new girlfriend.

I have never said this about anyone before but I hope he goes through the pain that he put me through these past two years. I hope he gets hurt terribly.

I (21F) and my ex (21M) had been together for two years.

Two months ago, I found chats on his ipad with two girls.

I had a feeling that he had cheated on me because he was acting weird ever since he came back from his US trip.

When he was showing me his photos on his phone, I saw a screenshot of a girl's hinge profile, upon asking him, he first got really mad at me that I was the one finding reasons to fight and later told me that his friend used his photo for a hinge profile. I bought it. And mostly ignored it because he kept getting mad. But it was a screenshot I didn't know how it appeared on his phone..

A few days later, I deliberately checked his ipad and saw those chats.

They insinuated that he had sex with this girl and they met up multiple times and were sexting as well,

With the second girl, the chats showed that he had bought a keychain for her which I told him to buy for me ( and he specifically told me that they were sold out).

I showed all this to him and asked him to leave my house immediately but he still insisted that it was his friend texting through his phone.

With a lot of effort I kicked him out of the house but it really hurt me that he had zero accountability and never even apologized once.

Instead he kept blaming me that it was my fault and that we broke up because we both effed up.

I was doing fine last month because he was a horrible boyfriend to begin with ( gave me no space, was terrible with boundaries, imposed restrictions on clothes, who I talked to and didn't let me go out much) although these qualities were more prominent in the first year of our relationship and he had improved this year but still us breaking up gave me a lot of mental peace and i was happy.

But this month, idk what's wrong with me, I keep crying and blaming myself, it's even more horrible to see him enjoying and living a normal life while I am crying my eyes out everyday.

Sometimes I feel like I could never be normal again .

I also feel really alone, I lost all my friends because of him and now I am all alone. He has a lot of friends whom he lied to about the reason of our breakup and now he gets a lot of sympathy.

He's also really doing well in college and sports and has also probably found a new girlfriend.

I have never said this about anyone before but I hope he goes through the pain that he put me through these past two years. I hope he gets hurt terribly.