u/Ickles100

Does anyone outsource classically husband duties? Breaking down boxes from deliveries, cleaning the grill, things involving a ladder, putting up easy decorations, garage organization? My husband is too stretched, he says, to do that. I just want to get a sense of how common that is. We have a handyman DIY kind of helper who has been great but sometimes i wonder if we are just being lazy. 😂😂

I am currently 40.5 and 16 months post postpartum but had my babies 20 months apart so i feel like this pp is hitting harder plus possible peri.

I think back to my happiest, most energetic lively times when my social battery was great and i wanted to see/do so much and it seems like that started to wane right at 29 crossing to 30. A year before 29 i got horrible acne, aged facially, hair loss. My entire 30s i felt more rage, adhd symptoms, and suddenly turned into a homebody that didnt want to do anything or see anyone. So i suspect the downfall was hormonally related.

Here i am today wondering if oestra would be my silver bullet, for the mood, focus, depressive symptoms, social changes. I did try trt injections after getting tested w low T earlier this year but my boobs shrank and i suspect my estrogen lowered because something in me shifted. I have been off the injections for 6 weeks now. I feel like my face also got really thin and gaunt. My youthful suppleness disappeared.

Can any ladies attest to this cream helping in some of these ways?

Im doing a locums at aspen
Some issues i am running into:

-Owner doc cements his temps on w extra strong temp cement, ive had to drill off all the temps, it takes forever and in one case the entire post and core came out

-owner doc over eager to restore borderline cases so rcts have giant sub G irms in them for me to crown prep, which of course is a nightmare

-full mouth ext (up to 20 teeth) and insert removable cases (four this week alone) with only 90 mins and on patients on blood thinners or w high Bp

-lots of tough surgical extractions and the clinic doesnt have root tip picks!!

I feel so defeated. On top of it, assistants are poorly trained. everything runs so back to back, so mistakes and complications are rampant. It makes me feel worse about my skills.

I was recently let go from a DSO after being put on a 30 day pip from a number of issues management saw about me as a kind of green dds working a solo dr distressed practice. The main thing were patient complaints from sub optimal outcomes - tx taking too long, rework, temps falling off, sub optimal scans and needing to call patients back, not being able to get teeth extracted mid way through treatment. You name it - it happened to me . I made a shit ton of mistakes in a very short time span. I didnt have any mentorship and thus sort of repeated my mistakes without addressing them at the beginning. I definitely want to hone my clinical skills a lot. But i have lost confidence to dive into a high performing private practice at this stage. I dont know how lovable or likable i am either lol. Basically i am scared of failure at private practice and that the same issues will occur even though the owner dr said he could mentor me.

I interviewed at a 4x a week fqhc today. Pay is fine - not too low not too high. A lot of removable and extractions. Hours are good (end at 4) but i can get better at the private practice (end at 2) which is meaningful because i have 2 little ones. They see 9 patients a day + hygeine checks.

I know I’m going to have some of the same issues that existed at the dso, but my stressors will go down. Wont need to lead the practice while still being clinically mediocre and somehow turning into a super GP with no mentorship while my basics need refinement. The fqhc is a well oiled machine, treatment plans will be presented, appointments, rescheduling, and billing headaches will not be on me.
At the dso, they put all that on me, expecting to lead it like it was my own practice even though i had no control over staffing and their incompetence.

For someone like me who is still not clinically as strong and worried about my likability - would fqhc be an appropriate pivot?

We are in a tough season, we have 2U3 in daycare. We both work full time; he works remote from home, i work in healthcare 4x a week.

Currently we both split childcare about 50/50 in terms of pickup, drop off, getting kids ready for school, afternoon activities.
We split finances as well.
I do most of the domestic (cooking cleaning laundry shopping etc).
We have a Sunday babysitter that comes from 9-3 during which time kids are napping from 12-3.

The kicker is on Saturdays, we do “shift work” - I will be with the kids for 2.5 hours, then he will be with them for 2.5 hours so i can free up to do errands, etc. Now he is saying he doesn’t want to do shift work anymore. He wants to give his shifts to the sunday babysitter.

He said hes an autonomous individual who can decide how much childcare he wants to do, and because this is beyond his bandwidth, he wants to outsource. He typically spends his free time napping or in his office working on a “side project”.

Admittedly i haven’t fully accepted that. I already wish he would get outside more, be more involved in the home/domestic space; take our son to more things. And this shift seems like it will have the opposite impact.

He also wants the same babysitter to come three nights a week to take over his childcare then!! The kids are only home from 5-8pm so now i question what he actually wants to do. during this time he spends about ONE hour of solid time with my son while my baby naps and i cook/clean. Two nights a week, he spends another hour at the gym where he lets my son play in the gym daycare.

Now its clearly coming across that he just wants to do less. And it kills my respect for him. I have a chip on my shoulder because i am a working mom that already does a lot but i dont offload as much, so the relative difference makes me judge and respect him less. Am i out of line for having these feelings?

Also just to add: we have been having marital problems, and on the brink of divorce many times. A lot of it comes from division of labor issues. He claims that i will be “less toxic” and there will be less dysfunction if we didnt have to worry about that; so outsourcing takes the burden away. My obvious response is that we need to work on our communication and appreciation.

The DSO i currently work for put me on a PIP because the “mentor dentist” who was supposed to help me actually ended up escalating a # of cases to management from “clinical concern”. I want to start by saying i am humble to the fact that i am not the best clinically. Dental school and residency were both long roads for me, and i always fell short in lab. I even took multiple attempts to pass prosth on the boards. So i know my work is by no means perfect. The mentors “clinical concerns” overlap with a # of administrative hiccups, in a distressed solo dr practice where i was expected to “lead”. There have been a # of times over the last 15 months at that practice where i have wished and wanted for mentorship, help, or someone to bounce ideas off of, but haven’t had that so i “winged it” only to deal with the consequences later. Some of the issues mentioned included: too much soft tissue damage on crown prep itero scans, over prepping, treatments changing from one tooth to another or even a diff tx entirely, treatment planning differences (eg crown v filling v no tx),saliva on itero scans, ext case on a blood thinner pt w hemostasis at discharge that ultimately had to go to urgent care. When you look at the collection of all of these issues, both big, small it does seem like i suck. I make mistakes and the microscope is on ALL of them. My confidence is even more shot because now they are now making a case that i need to go back to residency! I am hesitant to do that because i dont think i am THAT bad. Would prefer an office with actual mentorship that i can really learn more at. So i want to know..what is normal. What is abnormal. What is truly below the standard of care. I can DM my crown prep scans to anyone as well.

I was placed on a PIP performance improvement plan today related to clinical performance - documentation and x ray expectations, registering for and taking CE, itero scan quality, etc.

I was paired with a mentor about a month ago who is reporting some of these cocnerns down the chain. However i am just surprised it came to a PIp. Ive been at heartland for a year with virtually no clinical help or mentor and now they hit me with a PIP. I am not a god awful dentist and saw way worse from my predecessor. I got the sense that i had a target on my back in the last few months - they even put out an ad for a second dr claiming its a two dr practice even tho i have never seen that in the history of this office. Most days the schedule looks thin.

Is this basically a paper trail fast track to termination? Or for genuine support / improvement ?

I am a mom of 2U3. I work from 8-530 from M-th. I offer to work some Fridays but will likely give those up as Fridays are critical for me.

I get home and childcare starts straight away. I am usually doing some domestic work Like dinner prep, cleaning, decluttering from breakfast. Night time routine starts at 7:45 pm , my husband and I free up at 8pm, and bedtime is 10/10:30 but i am usually too tired to do anything after 8pm outside of a relaxing bath.

How can i start integrating small moments of fun/hobbies/pleasure into my life with such a packed schedule? Things are feeling monotonous.