The weather’s getting really nice in my areas, and I’m dying to go to the beach with my friends. They know I used to self-harm, but they think I gave it up ages ago. I’ve got some pretty fresh scars on my upper arm and thighs. I’m okay if people see them as long as they don’t ask or pry, but I’m worried my friends might. Is it worth going to the beach or not? Any thoughts?
TLDR bc I get emotional, my brother raped me for 3 years when I was 9-11 and he was 11-14. I didn’t understand how bad what he was doing was and when it stopped I forgot about it. Last year I remember everything and finally told my parents, who shrugged it off because “he’s my brother so I’ll have to live with him” saying that “if this was anyone else we’d never let them near the house but since he’s your brother he’s gotta live here” needless to stay I was taken aback. And I begged them to do something because there is no universe in which my brother forcing me into having penetrative sex was ok, but all that did was cause them to start believing that I was lying because “ he’s (my brother) has always been matter of fact and denied ever touching me, and she( me) has always had a flair for dramatics” they’ve said things like I’ll never find love because I’m so unstable and that I messed up this family and I’m self centered. Currently my brother is 20 and living at my grandma but I don’t know how long it will last. I’m turning 18 soon and I don’t know if my family will just boot me out. I hate them but I’m not financially stable enough to live alone. All I know is I’m hurt my family sucks and I don’t know what to do!! If anyone has any suggestions I’d appreciate any advice, it was hard enough when I was 11, hard enough when I finally told my parents, hard enough when they welcomed my brother back into my house and he hugged me, and hard enough living with these monsters.