i don’t feel joy in the things i used to love
so i’ve been dealing with crazy anxiety and ocd for the past couple years, im unmediated and trying to fight through it naturally. the past 2 weeks ive been going out and trying to best my agoraphobia. of course i have terrible anxiety while im out but its bearable and im trying to push through it because everyone says exposure therapy is the best remedy.
the whole week last week i was out doing stuff and I’ve been doing things this week as well, but what I’ve noticed is when I’m at home my anxiety is heightened and I feel like I’m on the brink of a spiral or that a major panic attack is going to happen at any moment. I feel really discouraged because although I’m making progress, I feel worse and even more disconnected from things around me and the people I love.
what I’m wondering if this is a normal part of the healing process, is it normal to feel ok while I’m out but then be overwhelmed with anxiety and intrusive thoughts when I’m back at home? it’s like I go out and do things but then when I get back home my mind is telling me not to go out again because something bad is gonna happen or I’m gonna lose control and everything’s gonna get worse again.
tt makes me really upset because my mind wants me to quit and just continue to bedrot, but there’s another part of my mind that’s telling me to keep going