u/Icy-Reach-6116

Dear INFJs,

Do you have a fear of flying?
If yes, how do you navigate around this?

Additional question: how do you develop your Se?
I have put a good amount of my time developing my Ti and having a healthy Fe. Sometimes my Ni goes into overdrive mode and causes me so much anxiety.

For context: I’m an engineer, 28F, Asian. A lot of the anxiety definitely comes from cultural and family things but I’ve also noticed that if I spend too many days inside the house, I start to build the cocoon and want to stay there forever because the outside world becomes too unpredictable for me.

Thank you < 3

Hi! I (28, F, INFJ) am currently seeing an entp (28,M).
It has been a month.

I wanted to ask you guys for advice on how to be a better partner/ better accommodate the person I’m seeing. : )

Some context:

1. He recently came out of a relationship (month before we started socializing [not dating]. He was also supposed to marry his ex but for xyz reason, they both decided not to go through with it) He has been very honest about it. When I have gently asked him whether he would rather take some time to process or heal, he expressed that he likes me quite a lot and he would prefer that we continue seeing each other.
   Concern: I am a bit unsure about this. I’m unsure whether he’ll change his mind about me because down the road he realizes he’s not over her. (valid but uh, scary for me) I must mention he did fly out to see me and spent a good chunk of time, energy and money for doing so. He is doing it again when I’m visiting a closeby state for work. (He’s so cute, I like him and I’m super grateful for this hehe 😫🥰. Okay, back to the serious topic.)

2. He is moving quite a lot (apartment hunting, leases, complicated roommates, leaking pipes and living among boxes) and is very stressed with his super long hours at a role he absolutely does not like. Things have not been the greatest for him this year. In the beginning, he was very excited and warm, but currently, he seems very withdrawn, somewhat absent. We also have not been able to connect deeply emotionally after his first trip. Things have been very hectic for this beautiful boy.
   Concern: we met and we spent time together in person. At that time, I was very stressed with my work. We got into this disagreement after his visit and we resolved it. I wanted to know whether when ENTPs say they have moved past a situation, how often is that true? Due to his (how do I say this) flat(?) behavior, I keep thinking whether I have done or said anything wrong that he may be withholding inside. I have also read that ENTPs get bored after a while so that’s something I’m also concerned about.

3. I don’t want to stress this person out more but something in my radar feels amiss. I had the experience of being with people who would for months or weeks hold things inside and then I’d have to find out in the worst possible ways. How true or prevalent is that behavior for ENTPs? How do ENTPs act when they are stressed? He told me he likes solutions more and not me validating his feelings but realistically, it’s not always possible to come up with a solution, sometimes, you just have to let the situation pass. Other times, because of the geographical distance, it’s not possible for me to do what I usually can do (physical affection but not included to only massages [ifkyk ; )], ordering or making food for them, lots of head scratches, taking care of chores, etc). He mentioned his first love language is acts of service. Hard to demonstrate over distance. We’re also seeing each other soon like in about two days. I think I’m just a bit concerned that he feels I’m not doing enough or am not helping him during these trying times.

Any input, feedback, insight, question or observation is highly encouraged and appreciated : )