u/Icy-You-3485

F (18, 4’9) M (19, 5’9) I have posted on here before and was told I should leave my boyfriend because he emotionally and physically abuses me. I stayed because I thought maybe I was over exaggerating but I don’t think I am anymore. I want to leave, I don’t feel emotionally connected or anything with him. I don’t get excited either. The way he talks to me leaves me feeling awful, like I’m nothing and stupid. Intimacy is worse because my body is catching up and I can’t even orgasm so he makes me feel awful for it saying such things as “this is the second time I can’t make you finish”. The way he hits me has gotten worse with once incident when I went on a trip and came back. I saw him and when we finally parked he pinned me down and started smacking me like crazy, my teeth hurt. He’s kicked me, made me bleed from my ear down to my neck, verbally insulted me as jokes but I doubt they’re just jokes and form of affection anymore. I want to leave because I can’t stay or see myself with someone like that. I want someone who makes me feel good, who’s proud to have me and adores me not just for sex etc. But why do I feel bad for leaving? He’s the only person who gave me an actual shot, they didn’t leave even tho they wanted to. He took my virginity and I’m sure part of him feels like he owns me because of that. But he genuinely cares about me. I care about him a lot more than I love him. I don’t want to stay but I don’t want to hurt him either, and have no idea if he will leak stuff we have too. I’m so lost and have no idea what to do. If I was to break up with him how would I even do it? What would I say? Is it possible to save this even though I’m emotionally and physically checked out? I wish I could explain everything in detail about my relationship, but it’s so much I can’t. He’s told me before that I’d never leave him, do you think he’s right and I won’t have the courage to? Since I’d be alone? I never imagine my relationship to be this way, I dreamt so much of what I’d want and how I’d want to be treated. Just to let someone beat on me and insult me for their own satisfaction. Simply because I thought that was love. I thought he loved me, but he doesn’t even express that. Part of me is scared to leave because he’s going through somewhat of a difficult time, and I can be there if he wants to talk. However the longer I stay, the more stuck I will feel.

Hey I’m F 18. I go through these phases where I can orgasm by myself and by oral with my boyfriend. But somehow I always get thrown off. I have noticed that if I masturbate and orgasm and nothing works after that. Head doesn’t turn me on and neither does me playing with myself. Until eventually I can magically orgasm again. I have no idea how to explain this to my boyfriend. Whenever it happens he keeps track of whether he can make me finish or not. For example today he was like “I can’t make you finish for the second time in a row”. It makes me feel bad and like I don’t even want to do it anymore in fear I won’t be able to once again. I’ve tried explaining to him that it isn’t him, it’s me. Genuinely i don’t know what goes on with me but I simply can’t orgasm. It feels good and I get super wet. And I know I’m in my head because of what he might say, but I hate this now. I hate getting head because I never know if it’ll be that day where I somehow get thrown off and there we go again, I can’t orgasm for weeks. I’m tired of dealing with my body suddenly not working the way it should. Why do these phases of whatever happen to me. I enjoy it for weeks until I’m right back at not being able to climax.