u/Idek667788

Ugh. Quit 2 weeks ago today and while I don't want to go back and feel confident in my decision damn could I use the relaxation of a smoke right now. The poor sleep has been absolutely brutal, I tore my hamstring a month ago and it feels like quitting weed has made my anxiety about my injury so much worse and my sleep can't compensate for both the weed withdrawals and healing my injury. Having a mental struggle because I strained/pulled my calf today when I had finally started to see good progress in my rehab, I want nothing more atm than to just shut off my brain and body and be numb. A joint did that for me for the longest time and now I have to sit with the bombardment of anxious thoughts about how long it's taking me to heal physically and how much confidence I've lost by being inside away from my friends and most especially away from my favorite activities like hiking and sports. My usual healthy coping involves getting active physically so I've had no real outlet for all this mental pain, which feeds into my physical pain and creates a mental doom spiral that is so hard to break out of.

I'm trying to be grateful for the things I have and realize I am still incredibly lucky to have a supportive family whilst being able to afford the time to let myself heal, but it has felt like these past 5 weeks have been an endless cycle of tests that have killed so many of the parts of myself I hold dear. Needed to vent this out somewhere. Good luck to anyone and everyone on their journey 🫶

I am on day 6 of what I hope to be my forever goodbye to weed. Started a few years ago and was incredibly nervous when I did of falling into habitual use and yet here I am. I've tried "mini quits" and done T breaks but honestly I can't do the complacency anymore. I am someone who enjoys being physically active more than anything, and use physical activity and being outside as stress relief but recently I tore my hamstring and haven't been able to be active. That started causing my highs to be anxious, which always happens when I smoke alone and indoors but I kept doing it because I couldn't deal with the emotional and physical pain of having a dream shattered (I was supposed to be working in Alaska this summer) while dealing with my injury.

I am now at home with my parents and no access to weed which is making the quitting part relatively straightforward, but goddamn all I want is a good night's sleep. I flew home from Alaska which jetlagged me and now I'm kinda permajetlagged. My injury hasn't healed properly at all and now I can't even go to bed like normal which makes it feel so much worse, and I often get caught lying in bed in a shitty feedback loop of physical pain and racing thoughts that feed into each other and eliminate any possibility of falling back asleep with ease. I know this experience will make me a stronger person capable of dealing with adversity and tbh the only reason I get any cravings is thinking about the feeling of smoking a joint in nature or during a hike and tbh most of that I think comes from the fact that I can't even be in nature at the moment but goddamn I just want a peaceful fucking sleep. Rant over good luck everyone on this journey 🫶