My sister in law is dating a neo-nazi
I’m going to try to keep this succinct. My sister in law (wife’s sister) has a bad dating history, her last few boyfriends have been immature love bombers and they all flame out after around one year. She recently started dating a new guy and he seemed like a completely different kind of person, very put together and proper, but something has seemed off about him.
He’s made a lot of comments over the last 5 months that I found off putting and weird, it was pretty obvious that he was a misogynist as he wouldn’t introduce himself to women, only men, and he talked down about his mom quite a lot for being a stay at home mom (despite wanting a stay at home wife).
Everything came to a head over the weekend when they went on a weekend trip with me and my friends. He spent the whole time talking down about the place we were staying (a family cabin) and the people who were there (my friends). My sister and her girlfriend ( I’m going to call her Abby for simplicity) were also present and on Sunday Abby started trying to get him to explain why he doesn’t like gay people.
During the conversation he was evasive but started using great replacement theory talking points. He explained that we need more white babies and less brown ones, how white people are the most benevolent race, and how black people eat each other. He said several other abhorrent things but I’m trying to keep this brief.
I don’t think my sister in law knows he holds these beliefs or she believes he’s joking. He usually says everything in this super smug tone and phrases things in a way that he has plausible deniability. I think she still has her rose colored glasses on with the relationship. The problem with convincing her is she’s been the butt of the joke when it comes to dating for several years because of how messy her relationships have been.
For additional context:
He’s unemployed and has been the whole time they’ve been dating.
He comes from a wealthy family.
He lives with her (as our neighbor) and does all the house cleaning.
He has no knowledge of how to do anything that would be considered traditionally masculine (Blue collar work).
Edit: it’s okay to not be traditionally masculine it’s not okay to push for traditional gender roles and not have your side of the bargain.
He has referred to himself as an aristocrat/patrician multiple times.
He believes in looks maxing unironically
Basically: How do my wife and I convince her to get rid of this guy? I’m worried she’s going to get defensive and double down.
Edit:
I’m going to add some quotes here for clarity, these are all things he said.
“White people are the most benevolent race”
“I’m homophobic because gay people have more brown babies”
“I want only immigration from white countries but that’s not possible so I just want closed borders.”
“The solution to climate change is a population cleansing, it wouldn’t be that hard.”
“Black people eat each other”
He said he’s so far right it’s almost like a horseshoe. Which to me horseshoe theory carries an extremely negative connotation.