u/Ill-Concentrate1218

HCBM does it again.

We went back for a child support adjustment, and from the beginning she was denying the actual custody schedule.

At the first mediation, she told the mediator they were not doing 50/50 and claimed my SO only had every other weekend (the old schedule). Court gets pushed out (I don't remember why).

Then we go to custody court on 5/18 and get the schedule put on paper. The schedule is clearly 50/50.

Fast forward to support mediation last week. She again tells the mediator it’s not 50/50 and conveniently leaves out an overnight. Dad explains the actual schedule. The mediator says he needs to call Mom back to verify because her version doesn’t match. He never calls my SO back.

Fast forward to court today. She still denies the 50/50 and again uses the version of the schedule that leaves out an overnight. SO points out that he has TalkingParents messages showing the actual schedule and that they’ve been following it since January.

Of course, the judge couldn’t find the custody orders or minutes because the court is backed up and nothing had been uploaded yet.

Result? The court used a 45/55 timeshare and set support at $1,300.

The judge was moving through a packed calendar and didn’t really let my SO explain or clarify the schedule. It felt like there was no opportunity to fully address the discrepancy.

To make matters worse, Mom’s LLC, business advertising, pricing/menu, etc. were basically dismissed. She’s had the business for over a year and claimed she essentially donates her services.

The tax issue wasn’t addressed either. She claims the kids every year, but the judge said they ran out of time.

My question is: once the filed custody orders are available, is it worth going back and asking the court to correct the timeshare to a true 50/50? From a child support standpoint, taxes, and everything else, how much difference does proving that extra overnight actually make?

I’m just frustrated. Has anyone successfully gone back and corrected something like this after the court didn’t have the custody orders available?

Someone please help me understand this.

My husband had a custody mediation on May 18th. During mediation, he was trying to work out things like splitting sports costs, childcare, medical expenses, and alternating tax claims (Mom claims one year, Dad claims the next).

The mediator told him anything involving money had to be handled through child support court, not family court.

Fast forward to today, he has child support mediation. Now this mediator is telling him those agreements have to be handled through family court, not support court.

So which one is it?

He’s not trying to avoid paying for anything. He’s actually trying to make things equal and get clear agreements in place. But he’s getting bounced back and forth between family court and support court, with each side saying it’s the other court’s issue.

Has anyone dealt with this before? Which court actually handles things like extracurriculars, childcare, medical expense sharing, and alternating tax exemptions?

I have a question for anyone who has dealt with a high-conflict BM/BD and child support modifications.
We’re going back to court for a support adjustment due to an increase in custody time (officially 50/50 now). BM subpoenaed my SO’s employer for payroll records, bonuses, commissions, etc. No issue there, nothing is being hidden, and his pay stubs show the same information HR will provide.

What I’m curious about is her side business. She has a balloon/event decorating business and never disclosed any income from it. I’m not claiming it’s a huge source of income, and I’m not trying to scrutinize her business the way she’s scrutinizing his finances. We simply want it noted that she does have additional income:

We submitted evidence showing:
Her LLC registration
Her service/menu pricing
Proof that she advertises regularly in our city
Evidence that her services have expanded
Proof of multiple large jobs/events she has done

Interestingly, after receiving our documents, she made her business Instagram private and removed/scrubbed many of her local advertisements.

My question is: Does a judge typically take this into consideration when calculating support? Or does it not really matter if she never disclosed the side income in the first place?

It just feels frustrating that every dollar of his income is being examined while her side business income wasn’t mentioned at all.
Has anyone been through something similar? What ended up happening in your case?

For those who have dealt with serving a HC BM/BD…

BM filed for a custody modification due to “changed circumstances” on her end. My SO filed his response, and mediation happened last month. During mediation, a LOT got brought up that she clearly didn’t expect him to address, especially issues with co-parenting, communication problems, and setting firmer boundaries in writing.

Now suddenly she’s dodging service of his response.

She tried claiming he never served her, which isn’t true. The paperwork was attempted 3 times by certified mail. We have tracking numbers and records showing delivery attempts kept getting rescheduled because she either missed them or didn’t pick them up. She even accidentally admitted she knew there was a notice in her mailbox but “didn’t want to go to the post office because she didn’t know who it was from.”

Fast forward, court is in a week and a half, the packet finally got returned to my SO, and now we’re having a friend personally serve her since she doesn’t know him.

My question is: if she continues dodging service, what happens? Obviously we’ll keep trying, but at what point does the court recognize that someone is intentionally avoiding being served?

Can she actually use this against us somehow if we’ve documented all the attempts? We’ve never had to personally serve her before, so this whole thing feels bizarre considering SHE was the one who originally filed.