Plan to cancel son's school trip due to safeguarding concerns
Plan to cancel son's school trip due to safeguarding concerns
My son is in Year 7 (12 turning 13) and I’m getting really worried about the group he’s hanging around with. Over the last few months he’s started joining in with very crude conversations: he reported a gist to me about his friends who was sexualising his mum and stepsister, in a would you rather game. My son also admitted joining them in playing “smash or pass” on random girls/women they see on the street, and explicit “would you rather” games. It’s not just silly boy banter anymore. It feels incelsous, disrespectful and objectifying.
This week two of his close friends were involved in cheating during exams (one was caught, the other wasn’t). My son told me about it himself. While I’m glad he’s still talking to me, it shows how deep he is in this circle.
There’s a 4-day school trip planned for the summer abroad. I was originally supportive, but now I’m very uncomfortable sending him. Supervision on residential trips is often quite relaxed, especially at night, and I don’t trust the group dynamic right now. I’ve decided to withdraw him from the trip and start picking him up from school every day henceforth.
I feel like I’m doing the right thing as a parent, but I’m also sad he’ll miss what’s meant to be a really good educational trip. Part of me worries I’m overreacting or that this will just make him resentful and more secretive.
Parents who have been through similar situations with 11-13 year old boys:
Was pulling him from the trip a good call or too extreme?
How did you handle the “wrong crowd” and crude/sexualised talk at this age?
What worked to steer them towards better friends without it blowing up?
Any advice on talking to him about the sexualised language and respect without shutting down communication?
Really appreciate any honest experiences. UK parents especially welcome if you’ve dealt with school trips.
UPDATE: I have reinstated the trip and will keep communication open with my son and also with the school about my concerns and discuss safeguarding plans and measures the school have in place. We still have about 8 weeks or so to the trip. I hope by then I will be confident to let him go and if not, I will schedule a family trip at the same time.