u/Illustrious_Brick845

I was informed today that I possess god-like powers. Apparently, a single sentence I uttered two years ago is the reason our son’s athletic career is "over."

​The "Crime":

Two years ago, I mentioned that our son should play football, because he loved it. At the time, I didn't care which sport it was, I just wanted him to stay active. My husband agreed. He was the one who argued that football was great for stamina, citing famous professional tennis players who played football alongside tennis to improve their footwork. Our son played football for two years and took a break from tennis.

​The Consequence:

Now, our son has returned to tennis. Because the physical demands are higher now, he unfortunately suffered a shoulder injury.

​The Grandiose Accusation:

My husband looked at me today and said: “Your one sentence was the deciding factor. You said he should play football, and that’s why he has a shoulder injury now. His career is over because of you. Your sentence was fatal!”

​The Reality Check:

It is fascinating how he manages to bypass all logic to make me the villain:

​He is a grown man and a father. If he felt football was a mistake, he could have spoken up then. He didn't.

​He is suggesting that my words, not biology, not the intensity of the training, not the coaching, physically caused a tendon or muscle to tear two years later.

​He is using our son’s genuine injury not as a reason to provide support, but as a prop to crush me with guilt.

​The sheer grandiosity of claiming one sentence from years ago "decided" a child's entire future is a special kind of reach. It’s an attempt to keep me in a defensive crouch, apologizing for the laws of physics and his own lack of agency.

​My Response:

I didn't argue. I didn't try to explain the absurdity of his logic. I just shrugged my shoulders and told him:

​"I don't think that's how it happened."

​I refused to carry the weight of his narrative.

​Has anyone else dealt with this "butterfly effect" style of blame? Where a tiny, shared decision from the past is retroactively turned into a "fatal mistake" that is 100% your fault? How do you maintain your sanity when the accusations become this delusional?🐺

Would you still let him ruin your day if you knew it was one of your last?

​I’ve spent years performing "financial gymnastics", and frankly, it is exhausting. I’m curious to hear about your experiences with the narcissist’s relationship with spending versus saving.

​In my experience, there is a total disconnect from reality when it comes to financial decisions.

​A few patterns I’ve noticed:

Financial Parasitism: Using your credit, your income, or your stability to fund their irresponsibility, effectively draining you while you do all the heavy lifting.

​The Irrational Disconnect: Making huge financial commitments without a plan, leaving you to manage the fallout.

​The Scarcity Mindset vs. Grandiosity: One moment they are terrified of ruin, and the next they are making impulsive purchases.

​My questions to you:

​Do you feel like they have any contact with reality when making financial decisions?

​Is your narcissist a reckless spender and hoarder?

​How do you handle the "financial gymnastics" without losing your mind?

​And most importantly: Do you feel like it is possible to build your own financial independence while still in this environment?🐺 EDIT: I am honestly in shock at how these individuals are completely incapable of long-term thinking, not just for the family's stability, but for their own. They seem to operate entirely on immediate gratification, with zero regard for the consequences of their financial chaos. It’s terrifying to realize that while you are planning for a secure future, they are busy dismantling the very ground you both stand on.