Does anyone else deal with a "people can hear your thoughts/you are saying your thoughts out loud" themes
Im a 19 year old with pure O ocd. I have been dealing with this one for 7 or 8 years at least. The basic version is that when someone looks at me with a visible emotion or I hear people laughing and it could be a logical response to the things I am thinking the spiralling starts There are 3 parts about it that I that the most.
The first is that I know its irrational and illogical and I have disproved it using rational and logic and tests numerous times, but its persistence just makes me feel stupid.
The second is the fact that when I have this thought running through my head I am thinking what is the worst thought I could think. This worsened the "you are a racist" thoughts and began the "you are a pedophile" thoughts.
The third was the most physically debilitating when I was in a spiral like this, or when I am (about a third of my time while in public, as much as two thirds on a bad day, and about 10% of any given hour today, now diagnosed and medicated) is that i would have these long scripts i would have to run through about my possible condition ot sating all my thoughts aloud and that I think the worst thoughts in order to observe people's reactions to see if i was, bu then from thinking about it too much the thoughts are telling me I am. This made incredibly difficult to focus or be productive while around people and made trying to think a minefield with one weird thought amd one moment of someone simply looking at me sending me into a 2-5 minute long internal rant where I couldn't do anything else.
Obviously because I know its not real or tue I dont need reassurance, im just wondering if anyone else has gone through this