u/Im-tired-of-username

Hey, I’ve been going through a really difficult time. A lot of my friends are either too busy for me or have left me because they felt that the trauma I’m currently going through was an inconvenience to them. That makes me feel bad because what I’m going through isn’t my fault. Anyway, I’m honestly tired of superficial friendships. I won’t vent to you 24/7, and I’ll give you space when you need it. All I want is a friendship where I don’t have to hide what I’m going through or my pain behind a smile anymore. I also want a friendship where we’re both genuinely interested in what the other has to say.

Besides that, I really like horror movies, making art, listening to music (specifically post-punk), talking about the metal and goth subcultures, and collecting random stuff! I find comfort and joy in the dolls, cassettes, and vinyl records that I collect. I also enjoy reading weird books and comics once in a while, whenever I have the time.

Also, we don’t have to talk all the time. All I'm looking for is a friendship where I can be myself.

Ever since I've gained weight it's gotten worse. When I was 200 pounds I was mid-sized and wasn't harassed by older men as much. Now that I'm 300 pounds older men harass me left and right. They harass me online, in person, at bars, at bus stops, grocery stores, everywhere. I can't seem to escape them. Like for instance I made a post on here a few days ago that blew up and a bunch of older men who were 40-50 years old started messaging me, saying nasty things to me that I had to block them. I'm 24 btw, and I would NEVER date someone who's 20+ years older than me. Maybe if I were in my 40's, sure. But at 24?? Absolutely not. And yesterday I was walking pass by this liquor store and some old man who was walking to get inside of the liquor store walked passed by me and said "hey there sexy young lady," to me. I ran so FAST to get away from him.

I feel like they're preying on me now because they think I am insecure, have less standards, and will sleep with them when I won't. It's just weird and gross that they're fetishizing me so hard now because I gained 100 more pounds.

I know that most women regardless of size get harassed in their 20's. I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced what I'm going through.