r/PlusSize

Okay I did a thing at work.

I work in retail, and we had corporate come through yesterday.

While I'm loud online, I can be a bit more timid off line.

But Corporate wanted feedback on pricing of stock.

So I took them to the clothing and lingerie section, and showed examples of fat taxed items.

I mentioned that I loved that the newer stock we have in doesn't have the plus sized tax.

The marketing new hire was shocked, and I had to resist the urge and not say "Girly Pop you aren't fat or plus sized, so you've probably never noticed it before!"

It's a small thing, but hopefully it makes a change and a difference.

I also mentioned about more body diversity in the mannequins as well. But will take small wins where I can.

Also apologies for any formatting errors, am posting from my phone.

You guys I’m so pissed. A small business hired me in the beginning of May to do their marketing and social media and normally I would never entertain the idea of working for a small business because of the unprofessionalism but that’s beside the point, I was desperate for a job so I said yes. I find out while I’m being trained by someone that had put in her two weeks, the owner is continuing interviewing people for the position I had been training for a couple weeks by now. So now, the girl that had put in her two weeks can’t even leave because I have officially been replaced by someone new and she is training her now. I had became fast friends with her so I texted her how upset I was and she told me that it was because the owner thought I was not presentable and how he kept me anyway for a couple weeks because a mutual friend of ours was my reference and he didn’t wanna disappoint them. Heartbroken. He lied to me and said he talked with his family and they collectively decided to not pursue social media at all.

I have been having trouble with my ankles swelling and my feet just getting tired. I tried compression socks and they seemed to help, but the ones I got rolled down like crazy after the first time I washed them. I’ve tried to find others but they’re either impossible to get on by big calves or they too roll down. Anyone have any specific brands that have worked well for large calves?

I think I might finally try to date since I've never dated or been in a relationship. I was thinking about downloading WooPlus but I'm not sure about using apps but I don't really have any luck in real life. Has anybody on here met anybody or actually had any success through WooPlus? Or any other dating apps as a plus size woman?

A man on dating app liked me, the profile seemed pretty normal so I saw no reason to not match back. Then this happened

Note: not a native speaker myself, the convo wasn't in English either but here's a close translation

Him 🧍‍♂️, me 🐡 since I'm Pisces lol

🧍‍♂️ Hi, I haven't done it with plus-size girl yet, will help me? :)

🐡 Well, hi there :D

🐡 I was in FWB relationship once, sorry, not interested anymore

🧍‍♂️ Wtf.

🧍‍♂️ Good luck then! 🙃

🐡 Likewise

*deleted chat*

Honestly my only issue, except unnecessary rudeness, is him choosing "longtime partner" as final goal

P. S. sorry if used the wrong tag, wasn't sure ab it

I have been on dating apps for a year now, I had some casual flings but no serious relationships.

I have recently put on 20 pounds because my PCOS is flaring up and I have kept my online dating accounts running and updated my pictures for the sake of transparency. I noticed I don't match with anybody anymore and the ones I match with treat me like a sex worker who should pleasure them with nothing in return.

I feel unwanted. I've always struggled with this feeling since childhood but dating has been very triggering. I even posted on r/r4r and whenever me and the people I talk to exchange pictures I get ghosted or rejected. I understand that physical attraction is important but rejection after rejection, the feeling of not being desired or being treated like a toy is getting to me.

I'm not even looking for a relationship anymore, I just want cute dates, I want to feel wanted even just for one evening without it necessarily being a hookup.

What should I do? Should I stop dating until I lose weight?

I realized something today and I wanted to share it in case maybe it helped anyone else.

I’ve been struggling a lot with my body image a lot lately and have been trying to repair my self-confidence and figuring out how to accept my body for what it is and keep living my life without it being the first thing that I think of.

It’s hard not to though when I’m kind of a lonely person and for years have blamed my size on being the reason why I don’t get many likes on dating apps or get lucky with naturally finding friends or love.

I read a post a while back that really upset me, specifically of a woman explaining that when she got thinner and wasn’t as curvy anymore, she got more male attention, especially from men who before wouldn’t pay her any mind and had more friends, some that she hadn’t spoke to in years all of a sudden wanting to speak to her now.

And that made me really, really sad because sizes shouldn’t matter that much and it made me feel powerless and struggle even more to love my body. But then the more I thought about it, something clicked.

You’re not really attracting love when you become thin. You’re just attracting more attention from other people who felt like they couldn’t love you at a different size. You’re not attracting more good men or women, you’re just attracting more men/women. You still have to weed through and find the good ones. You’re not attracting good friends, you’re just attracting people who for some reason couldn’t appreciate you at your bigger size.

And that’s not love at all.

A romantic partner who actually loves you will not care what size you are at and will love you no matter how that fluctuates, whether if it does or doesn’t. And the same thing applies to your friends. The last thing good people and people who love you notice is your weight. And those are the people you need to focus on.

I want to start with, I don’t hate myself. I hold myself to a high regard. I know there are good qualities about me. I know that fundamentally, I am a good person. However, I wanted to get this off my chest.

At 31, everyday I wake up in this body, I realize deeply that I will always be single. I watch my friends have relationships, get approached, have fun with guys, but I can’t have that. When I was in my early 20s, I had fun. But I never got any commitment. Now at 31, I have no fun and no commitment. And deep down? I know it’s because I’m big. I am attracted to Black men as a Black woman, and they have tore me down so much. Sometimes I’m scared to speak to them because I know they’re analyzing everything that’s wrong with me.

I could go on and on but I’m tired of being single. I’m tired of never being chosen. I hate that no one can see in the good in me because all they see is my size. I just wanted to vent and get it off my mind because it makes me so sad but I have to hide it. I have to pretend that I’m just too focused and ambitious for love when it’s the total opposite. But I can’t open myself up to anyone because they don’t see me, they just see someone who isn’t worthy of being seen in public with them.

So I am not sure if this is for this thread but I thought some fat girl good news and humble brag is warranted.

I am finally in a relationship with a relationship forward man who listens and is willing to do the work.

I’ve always loved flowers, but I’ve never really talked about my love of them in terms of receiving them as a gift. I mentioned it briefly the other day, and I came home to a bouquet with the note “a big beautiful bouquet for my big beautiful girl.” I was having a rough day and work and he took notice.

I broke down as no one really has done this before. He got freaked out that I started weeping. When I told him what it meant, he just said like “they’re just flowers. I’ll buy them whenever you want.”

Keep up the fight, y’all. Your man is out there.

(I know that some don’t like the term ‘big’ but I’m OK with it and he knows that. And I like being called his big girl.)

I was minding my own business, just quietly shopping. There was a mother in scrubs with two little girls nearby and the older child started yelling "Mommy, she's fat! Mommy she's fat!" The mom didn't do enough to correct her. She quietly said "thanks for letting me know" or something. Sigh.... I ignored the comment and left the area without making a scene.

What would you do if you were in my position?

It's not fair for a child to be allowed to create a hostile environment for other shoppers in Costco, in my opinion, especially when they are old enough to know better.

Vent: Went to a new OB/GYN today. They gave me the normal sized gown. Would not cover me when I sat down. So annoyed! So I am just standing there holding the gown closed when the doctor comes in and we start talking. WHY did they not offer me a larger gown when I clearly needed it?

Congrats like I am 5: I actually spoke up and asked for a larger one or even a second one to put over the front. I wasn't rude, just proud of myself for saying something instead of being uncomfortable the whole time.

summer is coming up and im planning on wearing more skirts and shorts but everytime the chafing always makes it unbearable..for skirts, whats the best brand or type of short that are around 11-12” long and aren’t like too over priced. along with shorts in general, whats the best product that can help with preventing painful chafing for a long period…

So im 24f and I've never had s*x, not even kiss or anything.. and i wanna do all these things now, I met someone and we're kinda in long distance, thinking of meeting soon in irl. The thing is that I've always been insecure of my looks.. im overweight ( 90kgs), I've stretchmarks, hyperpigmentation, and body rolls, teeth gaps and I hate them, i can't imagine getting naked in front of other even tho i kinda love my curves.. i tried to lose weight but I've pcos ( pmos ) and im kinda finding it difficult.. I don't think so i can lose atleast 20kg in next few months lol.. I've been craving intimacy for so long but always refused it because of my insecurities.. so again to my question, how to not feel insecure or should i just reject this guy too and try to improve myself ( even tho idk when will I lose weight and all)

I (26F) have been dating my partner (30F) for about 6 months and I could not be happier in many ways.

We met on a dating app - the height of romance, I know - and I feel like we connected pretty instantly. We have so much fun together, she shows me love in all the ways I feel I need it and we have a good intimate life. But in the back of my mind I literally cannot shake the sense of disbelief that she actually finds me attractive, and is not dating me DESPITE my weight.

She is straight-sized and very beautiful. I am a lot bigger and I would say less conventionally attractive in a lot of ways. She says she loves my body but we have never spoken in specific terms about weight, or whether my size is attractive to her. I have also heard her complaining several times about looking “big” or “chubby” in pictures - I of course always reassure her that she doesn’t, but it makes me a little uncomfortable sometimes because…I’m a lot bigger than she is.

As far as I’m aware, her exes have been a lot slimmer than me. It’s something I’m trying not to think about too much but which keeps eating away at me as well. Like, why me? Why has she chosen me now?

I have intense feelings of anxiety around the thought of meeting her friends and family. I worry they will think I’m not good enough for her, that she’s out of my league, that I’m big and lazy and all the fatphobic stuff I’ve grown up hearing my whole life. And I’m scared to spend our first summer together - what if people look at us in public when we’re wearing fewer clothes and judge?

I don’t know how to overcome these feelings and would love some advice from people who have been in a similar situation or see where I’m coming from. I want this relationship to work and I enjoy being with this woman so much, but I’m letting my negativity and anxiety around my weight cloud so many of the good times. TIA x

I recently got the cheaper CVS brand pads and I noticed the keep bunching up and I get blood all over my underwear in the front. I usually get the off brand ones from Walgreens but I noticed the CVS ones were cheaper. I haven't bought Always pads in years for other reasons, but what would you recommend?

I am generally very body neutral, but I also live two provinces away from my traditional Vietnamese family. If you're also Asian/from an immigrant family you know what I'm getting at.

I am bigger than ever, and I'll be visiting home to celebrate my sister graduating with her bSc! I am so happy for her and I am really looking forward to seeing her, my other sister and cousins. I love my extended family but the comments are always so triggering. I am married and have a family so at least they can't hold that over my head anymore but ugh! I hate that I'm dreading this part. I wish I could just be happy and excited to have a little reunion.

Of course there are some people out there whose primary focus is health. HOWEVER, the majority of general conversation around fat people does not come from a place of concern. I have seen soooooo many people go on and on about how they are proudly fatphobic because they dont believe in being unhealthy or promoting an unhealthy lifestyle. ALL of them drink regularly, vape or smoke, and NEVER actually speak about diet or exercise. The only time they choose to weigh in on health debates is to say they dont agree with glorifying fatties.

I am sorry but it is so so hard to believe you are concerned about health when you have a candyfloss vape glued to your hand and you have never once spoken on health related matters until a fat person decided to exist and not publicly hate themselves.

Why is it so difficult for some people to just own the fact they dont like fat people. You dont need to hide behind the ‘I just care about health’ shield…you can just…not like fat people? Maybe if more people were honest with themselves they would be able to unpack why they feel so enraged by the existence and joy of fat people, and in doing so live a life less burdened by pointless anger and hatred.

i am so sick of people trying to placate themselves by insisting their vitriol towards other people based on their appearance is actually because they care about the wellbeing of others.

WITCH HAZEL IS YOUR BEST FRIEND!! After you shower, take a cotton pad, put some witch hazel on it, and wipe it EVERYWHERE! Face, under arms, under boobs, neck, behind knees, booty crack, between thighs, etc! Obviously, utilize more than one for sanitary reasons.

This will help with sweat control AND smell control!!