Hey it's me, time for Round 3
So below I'm gonna post a chapter from my novel. And I kinda want to just see what people think was generated, what was assisted, and what was purely me. Just snag a section you think is off and I'll tell you whether it was generated and I left as is, whether I used it as reference and adjusted, or if it's from a section I removed and rewrote myself. This can be sentences, a short conversation, or a small paragraph. I'll break it down as best I can what I did.
I'll also say that there's missing italics. Which are used for things like sounds (drips, creaks, and crashes) as well as internal thoughts for the pov character. The story is written in a third person past tense. However occasionally direct thoughts will be added in first person. They're also italicized in the proper chapter.
Here's the chap, 3,000 words give or take.
THE IN-BETWEEN
It was dark, but it didn't feel empty. The space around Skarlet felt like a cardboard town, on a first glance it seemed complete. However upon closer inspection, the illusion fell apart. A space that felt full and complete when you didn't think to hard, but felt fragmented and unreal the more you tried to put your finger on who you were supposed to be.
Names slipping away like sand between your fingers.
When she focused, the darkness melted into something recognizable, a stone street surfaced beneath her feet, buildings rising on either side. It seemed like Aguris, but fragmented.
The proportions were wrong if she looked too closely, like a memory exaggerated by the erosion of time. Yet it felt comfortable, and finally feeling something solid beneath her feet calmed her heart.
As she took a step, the sound followed after her like an echo. The hollow splash rebounding back toward her, this space seemed to be delayed somehow.
Despite her footsteps eliciting a splash there wasn't water on the street, but before confusion could settle something wet landed in the tip of her nose.
Drip
And suddenly it was raining. She tilted her head down as the water began to pelt her, yanking her hood up.
Her hesitant steps turned into a brisk jog as she moved through the maze like streets. However they didn't seem to actually go anywhere, just repeating endlessly. Eventually the feeling of incongruence grew too much and she turned back, yet the path she came from was now gone. A wooden door replaced the path she'd taken, the door giving off an uncanny feeling, even as she recognized it as the guild entrance.
But despite the churning feeling in her stomach, she didn't hesitate to open it, If this place is going to rearrange itself, standing still would only trap me faster. She pushed the door open and stepped through, her steps faltered almost instantly though. The tables and chairs were there, just, as she tilted her head to look at the way they were positioned on the ceiling she felt something was off.
The wooden floor beneath her feet was a strange repeating texture, and as she examined the room, her body felt weird. A strange dizziness overcoming her senses. She blinked rapidly in response, letting her knees sink to the floor. She found herself stubbornly crawling towards a door that felt out of place.
Crash
A chair smashed through the floor right next to her, stuck half in and half out as she pulled herself along. Tail spiking in response to the sudden sound, she squinted at the ceiling. Everything was shaking, and the furniture was starting to fall.
She rolled to the side as a table smashed through the ground, vanishing and leaving behind only a leg.
Finally she grabbed the door handle and yanked herself up, tumbling through as a full dining set crashed into the floor where she'd just been.
Drip
She lay curled up and panting, the occasional dry heave and muscles spasms racking her body. Skarlet lifted her head and glanced ahead.
Drip
It was dark, but she could see the general outlines and faint colors. The space before her was rather familiar, it resembled a cavern, the one beneath the ocean, the place where they had met the ancient water dragon. But it oddly seemed to be meshing a bit with the space she'd just left behind.
Drip
The two spaces overlapped messily, the tables and chairs that had vanished from the previous room lay shattered across the stone as if fallen from above, and banners hung like wet cloth from the jagged stalactites. The parts that didn't belong made her head ring when she looked at them, so her gaze was pulled to the ground.
Drip
Skarlet stopped in the center of the room and exhaled slowly. She stared into a pool of water, the steady drips scattering the surface, this isn't an illusion, it's not trying to fool me, I can tell, I've been in the jaws of plenty of predators. She shivered, trying to get the hairs on her neck to stand down. This is the feeling of standing on the edge of death, a blade on your neck, a beast's hot breath.
She turned back, but just as she now suspected, the entrance was already gone. Snow drifted through the air from the entrance of the cave instead, though it never reached the ground. It shifted into water and laced the floor, but the splashes were oddly absent as she walked towards the bright white of the outside.
The white blinded her for a moment, the feeling of snow lacing her cheeks in red.
Creak
A strangely familiar sound, she opened her eyes as the light faded, in front of her was a inn room decorated for Christmas. Though she was alone and all the lights were out, the food half eaten.
She turned back around, stepping out onto the balcony, but as she did she felt something off. She reached out and touched the curtain painted with a texture of snowy sky.
When she stepped through it, the snow melted mid-step, replaced by wooden planks formed beneath her feet. Glancing behind, her feet were leaving a dock and planting onto the deck of a ship. The ocean stretched out in front of her, but the waves moved in repetitive patterns, patches of movement. Once again, a weird sense of fakness beyond the almost palpable realness being shoved desperately into her face. In the distance, the outline of a castle rose directly from the water, its base dissolving into the surface rather than sitting on it.
This whole time she'd felt like she was sitting in the mouth of a cave, teeth like stalactites, and the heavy pressure of jaws about to snap. Yet until now, she hadn't seen anything.
Click, Click, Click.
A sound seemed to rip at her ears, she winced in response, turning to look around for whatever was causing it. A shape stood at the far end of the dock, humanoid enough for her mind to try to name it, but seemingly avoiding proper perception. It was too tall and its arms hanging too low, its left eye fixed on her while the right side of its face was simply blank. Like a cyclops with the eye pushed to one side.
It didn't approach her, though, it didn't need to. The space between them shortened, pulled closed like when folding a piece paper.
That was when the pressure started to make sense, the emptiness she'd fallen into wasn't being filled by things, she was being emptied into the space.
This being was waiting, expectantly, for her empty husk to drop into void after being drained of everything she is.
She dashed forward abruptly, is eyes followed her like the illusion of a painting.
The world reacted immediately, the shattered, she hopped from board to floating board, I need to break the pattern!
The next door appeared ahead of her, she pushed it open violently. The recognition was more clear this time as she sprinted down a gothic corridor. For the first time since landing in this nightmare, the environment stopped shifting with every step. The air felt surprisingly light, this place felt almost complete.
Her footsteps echoing normally, the sound grounded. However, the stability didn't really last, she recognized a panting on the stone wall. She'd seen it further back, she didn't give it much thought though. Passing by unceremoniously, but when it passed again she paused.
It was a painting that didn't exist, it was the picture of her family, but the faces were scratched out. There was an itch in her wrist, her hand brushed the hilt of her sword.
She drew her sword and cut through the painting, through the wall and through the space itself.
The environment unraveled like spools of string, the stone splitting like snapping spaghetti noodles and the walls broke apart like hay. The solid feeling of ground cracked like glass, and Skarlet fell.
She slammed through several falling pieces of her own mind before landing on a surprisingly familiar massive stone disk with a dull, bone breaking thud.
The moment she hit the disk, the world stopped shifting. The ground beneath her was solid, built from the pieces of a stronger mind. Beyond the edge of the disk, the darkness didn't behave like empty space. It pressed inward, like a massive hungry creature.
There were stars above, but the light coming from them was piercing and cold. Slowly she stood up and looked around, as she reached to put her sword away, she realized that she no longer had it.
"Huh? Where?" She looked down at her hand to confirm, but it was gone. Her eyes wandered down to the disk once more.
The carvings beneath her feet were perfect, one could even believe that they were always there. She was standing on a symbol, it was a alchemical moon, last she'd been here none of the lines connecting the various symbols glowed.
However, now two were glowing. One led to the symbol of Aries, the other led to Taurus. Skarlet frowned, there was a weird pressure coming from each of them, but she felt no fear as she approached.
The moment she touched the symbol she felt instant pressure. The hair sticking up on the back of her neck as Skarlet leaped to the side, avoiding the creature's swing instinctually. As she scrambled back and onto her feet she looked up to a recognizable silhouette. It seemed like it was Aries, but like some distorted version of it's shadow.
It tilted it's head as it slowly pulled it's arm back, "Thirteenth King, your presence here as ordained by fate, sets into motion the cracks that shatter your world." It then bent forward, it's shadowy face and yellow eyes glared down at her "Power yields not to the weak, but only to the strong. So break me, claim yourself."
Then, without warning, it swung once again. Skarlet leaped into the air instinctually, wings tore through her clothes and spread outwards to keep herself afloat.
She was stunned for a moment as she rose higher, turning her head to study them. They were bat like and definitely demonic, but they felt quite natural as she flexed them.
Aries growled as it swung it's large claws at her, they seemed to move at an impossible speed. Likely because they were cutting through space.
"Cheater." She muttered even as she copied the skill. With a slash if her claws she teleported passed it's attack.
She tore her claws through it's face causing the shadows to desperse. She was wrapped in the darkness for a moment as she passed through.
Inside of that darkness she felt immense anguish, her hands began to shake as she reached up to wipe the tears that were uncontrollably pouring down. She felt as if she'd killed Amber with her own hands, they felt sticky as she looked down at them. She couldn't see them but felt as if they were coated in blood.
She wanted to clean them, so she scratched at the skin, scratching and tearing with psychotic fervor. She tore through her skin and muscles till bone was visible. As the shadows finally faded, swirling as they were sucked back into Aries's mark, she finally snapped out of it.
She looked down at her hands, and fresh nausea bubbled up even as her flesh mended at visible speeds.
"Fuck me." She slowly landed on the circle, the mark flashed rythmicly like a heart beat, at it call she reached down and placed her palm against it, not sure yet what it exactly wanted. She followed her instinct and pushed her mana down into it.
Snap
The mana rebounded however and sent her flying.
"You're not yet strong enough to contain the full power of Aries." When the voice spoke, the darkness on the edges of the disc recoiled. The pressure in the air settled, like something far larger had just placed it's control over the space."Till this point you've been using it's raw power, and it's been sending the excess into the void." Skarlet sat up and turned to see a man, young with black eyes, horns, wings, and a tail. He wore a king's mantel and a general's coat. She recognized her sword sheathed at his waist.
"Who are you?" She asked as she slowly got to her feet.
"I'm the Demon King, the original. I wielded spatial magic, I conquered half the world. However the humans felt threatened by my existence. So they killed my wife, as a threat, I was devastated." He explained as he moved side his coat to reveal a hole through his heart. "I corrupted the King's sword with my own hatred and anguish."
"Why are you here?" She asked as her guard rose, she stepped back.
"You're trying to claim what remains of my power. Yet your vessel isn't strong enough to hold it." He was suddenly right next to her, his arms crossed behind his back.
"So, what do you purpose?" She jumped to the side, startled with her tail spiked up.
"Well, I'll have to compress the power for you, seal it lightly." He was once again beside her, he reached out his hand. "Here, let me help you." She took his hand hesitantly, but wasn't prepared to react as he shoved his other hand into her chest and ripped out a shimmering white orb.
"This is the manifestation of Aries' power, I'm going to help you. As of this moment due to not fully understanding or incorporating it you've been using it at full power every time." He began to explain while she was still stunned, barely listening to him as she touched her chest in confusion. He then began to stretch it out and mold it around, "I'm going to loosen up the power, it's like a muscle, most magic and power is like that. You need to break it in." He then ripped it in half, tossing half of it behind him. It morphed into a ram midair and landed on the Aries symbol.
"Uh. . . I'm so confused right now." She expressed as she looked at the creature stomping it's hooves on the symbol.
"That's fine, you don't really need to understand. Here, this should feel far more comfortable." He then shoved the white ball back into her chest.
It was immediate, she felt like she'd been punched in the gut. The ground flipped out from beneath her as she landed on her back. Air smashed from her lungs, she was gasping.
"There's a lot of pressure on your shoulders Skarlet." He explained solemnly, "originally, I guided my successors deeper into hatred and anger. However as the decades stacked up. I felt that my revenge had been long settled. Yet I seemed to have started a cycle that can't be easily ended." He finally stepped back. "Each Demon King was born to a primordial power, one of twelve. You are the thirteenth and do not inherit a power, by that logic you should be the weakest of the twelve."
"But, I currently wield two of the powers?" Skarlet pointed out and he smiled.
"Yes, despite what was believed, it seems that you're vessel isn't lacking a primordial power but instead it's just an empty container." He explained while making the shape of a glass. "You are capable of wielding all the primordials."
"Is that a good thing?" She asked and he frowned in response, approaching her slowly.
"Skarlet, you're the Demon King, designed to fall to insanity. Being able to control all that power. If you fall to the temptations of the past, you will be the cataclysm that destroys your world." His words hung in the air as he slowly faded, "I've weakened your control over Aries, but in the future you'll break through that seal. Be careful, each of the twelve powers are capable of ripping the world apart if used without restraint. Listen to your instincts." Then he was gone.
Skarlet was staring up at the stars, her back cold on the concrete, or whatever it was made of.
The stars were all different sizes and colors. Finally feeling herself settled, she lifted her self only to freeze. A cold chill crawled up her spine as one set of stars blinked. Then another, the entire sky took turns blinking before it all returned to looking like stars.
She slowly got to her feet and averted her gaze, landing on Taurus. She immediately stepped over to the symbol and pushed her mana into it.
Once again, the beast rose in a dark distorted form. Skarlet leaped back in response, ready this time she dodged it's charge. As she landed back on the disk, she skidded backwards, her back slammed into something unexpected. She turned to see a stone pillar. It was a mix of stone and shimmering shadow, glancing around, other pillars were coming into view.
Taurus roared and charged once more, she dove to the side as it slammed into the pillar with an explosion that showered her with shadowy stone. It quickly shook off the stone and reached for her, Skarlet reacted instinctually and reached out as well.
As she was raised into the air, she grabbed the hand grabbing her. Stone spread from her fingers and in turn her own skin began to stiffen.
A feeling of cold began to permeate her upper body, before it even reached her waist it had closed her mouth.
The creature before her didn't fair much better as it could no longer let her go. It's entire arm and torso encased in stone.
Darkness filled her vision as silence fell, an aching cold filled her, and time seemed to stretch. However a weird feeling of dissonance kept her conscious of the state of Taurus. Till finally he was completely turned to stone.
A statue, a massive Minotaur, holding up a struggling cat.