u/ImThe1Wh0

I'm getting tired of people older than me, not only being condescending but dismissive. "Aw you're just a kid, you'll get to understand one day..." Dude, I'm forty two.

I've been a maintenance director, a project manager and a GC for YEARS. I even worked as a Federal employee, doing projects big enough to have my reports be read at the Pentagon. I know what I'm doing and taking about.

If you took the time to just listen to my experience, you'll find it outmatches your tool shed, Jerry rigged, "I know a guy" mentality and it'll get done correctly and the first time. I'm not saying shit to be condescending or undermine you.

It doesn't help when they realize I'm also a millennial. Boo hiss, I tell you what, now it just all went out the window and they definitely know better than I now.

My daughter is 14 and very bright. She's competed academically state wide and has won an "internship" for lack of a better term, at our State college over the summer next month, before she starts High School. We're very proud of her. She's a good person and we've instilled in her self worth and betterment of others. Her classmates have voted her to be a future Ambassador or People's Advocate.

My parents were terrible to me and as such, I've learned what NOT to do with my own children. I treat her like a young adult, she has a voice and an opinion in family matters. We listen to her and don't force her to do anything she's not comfortable with. While my parents were terrible to me, they aren't to their grandkids.

I've had to work extremely hard, to be a comfortable middle class, after my parents basically kicked me to the curb and told me to "figure it out." At one point, I was even homeless, living in my truck but they're right, I figured it out and now I'm successful in life, albeit somewhat bitter. My parents are both wealthy people, however they were quite adamant I was on my own in life. They're quite adamant that their money when passing, goes to the grandkids and none to me. That's fine but I am the custodian of them on their trust funds and will distribute the funds as I see fit, for the children. I'm not shallow or malicious and I will follow thru, to set my children up successfully. I'm not bragging but there's enough in the multiple funds, for my daughter's to not have to pay for college and then some.

Here's the problem: I want my daughter's to succeed in life and not have to go through the trials and tribulations we all have dealt with. Prevent them, NOT shield them from them. I have stressed that she doesn't need to move out once she turns 18. She may stay thru college and until she finds a career. I've also told her not to worry about having a job while going to college. I've told her that her job should be college and graduating.

She's interested in moving to the college campus, which the trust fund can cover on or off campus, in addition to tuition. I won't argue that wish but I am putting my foot down about working. I would prefer her focus be on school and graduating. I believe she doesn't need to be dividing her focus and should just be studying and building her friendships and life experiences, without the stress of worrying about schedules, work/life balance and what not that comes with it. By my view, we're kids for a 1/4 of our lives, worker's for 1/2 and old the last 1/4 and that's at BEST. I want her to enjoy life as much as possible before entering the workforce.

The family, immediate and extended, thinks I'm being unreasonable in my not wanting her to work in college. My daughter, the clever negotiator, counter argued that she wants to work but will agree to my terms, so long as she can work in the summer. I feel like that's a fair compromise but my family still thinks I'm being unreasonable and controlling and that's not who I am or the point I'm trying to make.

I feel like it's our jobs as parents, to set our children up to succeed in life and to not be reliant ON us as adults but know that they can depend on us when they need us. The world is different than what we went thru in our youth and I'm not trying to shelter her from the world but I feel I should help emphasize this gift that's been given to her, to help give her a leg up in life.

What do y'all think? I need outside opinions, not close to the matter. Am I being unreasonable? Yes I understand the, "she's 18, she's an adult," argument. I'm asking about if it was YOU starting over and you had the gift my daughter has, would you prefer to do it the old way or prefer to go through college stress free and make memories?