u/Imafancyboy

In a past post I asked if I have herpes solely based on looks. It totally looks like herpes and I have basically all the symptoms. Anyway, my partner got tested for everything (specifically including herpes) yesterday, come to find out today that he is negative for everything. How is this possible? I was tested today as well, and should be hearing tomorrow, but how could I have herpes and he doesn’t?? I was so sure that the reason I got genital herpes was from his oral herpes based on the blister on his lip and the bumps I have down there.

Also, I feel disgusting. It was nicer to assume he gave it to me because then it was totally up to me to forgive him (which of COURSE I do. It wouldn’t be his fault at all). Now knowing he doesn’t have herpes??? I feel absolutely disgusting now.

So, how could this have happened?

In a past post I asked if I have herpes solely based on looks. It totally looks like herpes and I have basically all the symptoms. Anyway, my partner got tested for everything (specifically including herpes) yesterday, come to find out today that he is negative for everything. How is this possible? I was tested today as well, and should be hearing tomorrow, but how could I have herpes and he doesn’t?? I was so sure that the reason I got genital herpes was from his oral herpes based on the blister on his lip and the bumps I have down there.

Also, I feel disgusting. It was nicer to assume he gave it to me because then it was totally up to me to forgive him (which of COURSE I do. It wouldn’t be his fault at all). Now knowing he doesn’t have herpes??? I feel absolutely disgusting now.

So, how could this have happened?

I (19f) began going out with a guy (21m) I’ve been friends with for years about 3-4 weeks back. Prior to that my previous sexual partner and I almost always used condoms (though I am on birth control and he had a vasectomy), and he got decently frequent STI checks. He ended up getting a final sexual health check right when we broke up, which showed he was all clean.

ANYway, my current partner hasn’t had sex in months before me. He has an extremely girthy/large member, and it ended up ripping the bottom of my vagina. There’s a small cut that’s been aching decently bad. Last week I also believe I had a yeast infection due to clumpy white discharge, itchiness, etc. I used Monistat 3 and all symptoms were gone. This last weekend we had drunk sex and that’s when my vagina ripped slightly. He also performed pretty intense oral on me. Anytime we do oral it hurts a bit because of his mustache, but I usually ignore it because I’m genuinely an idiot.

Last time he performed on me was Sunday. Tuesday morning I noticed some bumps in my vagina, as well as the cut. I shrugged it off as ingrown hairs, come to find out he woke up with a blister on his bottom lip. He works construction in the sun, so it could totally be that, but if not…? Then, Tuesday night, I felt extremely itchy on the lower side of my vagina and kept itching it before I realized I now had 3 more bumps that look ripped, and I can’t tell if it looks like herpes or ripped from being itched. Today, a few more bumps have grown, plus holes in the original ones, and while checking them out in the mirror some orange discharge slid out.

I’m scared out of my mind. My mother is very religious (and we’re at a bad spot in our relationship BECAUSE of my sex life), and I don’t feel comfortable confiding in her or asking for her insurance to receive a checkup, but in my area they seem to be about $50-$400, with no Planned Parenthood. I’m terrified. What do I do? Does it look like ingrown hairs from constant friction from oral, or something worse?

ALSO: my current partner and I have used condoms all but twice, and he has only finished from sex once in our time together, and it was on my belly :(