When do you know its time to take a divorce?
My husband (31 M) and I (31 F) have been married for 3 years. Initially we were both very angry people but i used to get angry and just vent he used to take it too far like strangling himself yelling breaking stuff etc and eventually I started doing it too. We both drove each other crazy and there was a lot of violence and yelling. He is a good hearted man he takes care of me treats me like a baby takes my stand in front of his family never etc etc but he easily get amnoyed and then treats me like dirt. We eventually decided to move to a new house and start fresh. I stopped yelling and everything but he didn’t he pushed me once when we were in a fight and I let it go and didn’t hit him back second time he did the same thing like he didn’t hit me but held me really hard that it hurt and again I didn’t do anything, third time he abused me and i didn’t abuse him back because I didn’t want to be my old self. I think he kept thinking that i will still continue doing the old stuff like being violent and abusive but overtime i realised thats not me i am just catching up on his level and didn’t do it again. Last week we got into a fight and he again abused me. Since then I haven’t spoken to him, he comes and apologises everyday but I don’t feel like talking to him. Also since the beginning of marriage he has no interest in having sex. We only do it if i am nagging him about it or initiating it. Sometimes even when I initiate he refuses with som excuse. I asked him to see a doctor but he doesn’t.
I know its hard to believe but he is a really really nice person when he is not angry. I just dont know how many times should I forgive him and should I just consider divorce. Also i dont know how to live in a sexless marriage where i only get pity sex. He is a very defensive person, I always walk on eggshells around him. Getting a divorce will be very hard for me since my family will totally oppose it and i am scared that i will regret it later on.