Heated conversation with a friend - What Made You Realise Your Sexuality?
Today me and my friend had a heated debate about what “causes” someone to be gay. The topic came up while we were talking about one of her gay friends. During the conversation, she mentioned that he had faced sexual abuse in the past, and from there she started generalising that most gay men “turn gay” because of sexual trauma or abuse at an early age.
That honestly didn’t sit right with me.
I understand that some people, regardless of orientation, may have gone through terrible experiences growing up. But can we really generalise an entire community based on that? I personally feel sexuality is much more complex for many people it’s simply who they naturally are and who they’re emotionally or physically attracted to. Not something that “happened” to them.
But she was completely convinced otherwise. She kept saying things like, “I have many gay friends, so I know,” and that abuse makes them “discover that pleasure” or seek protection in men later on.
The whole conversation genuinely made me curious to hear from real people instead of assumptions or stereotypes.
So I’d really love to know for those comfortable sharing what was your journey of discovering your sexuality like? When did you realise it? Was it something you always knew, slowly discovered, or understood over time?
Would genuinely love to hear your beautiful stories and perspectives.