Just to say. My 19 year old daughter died on the beginning of April. My mother whines a little, semi-cries over photos, but she very calmly goes on with her fuckinf life. For example , she said : "She will always stay young and beautiful, not like me, old wrinkled thing." That infernal need to bring all to herself ! We live with her, but she didn't respect our grief, she had appointments for this and that in the house, do you think she could have canceled it ? No, of course ! We were crying in our room, my partner, my son and I, but non we had to endure loud conversations and loud noises. We had no energy to go out, and wouldn't want to see anybody. When I complained about that, she YELLED at me, saying she was going to sell the house (aka throw us out, what she cant' do because I am partly owner of the house too), that she was grieving too, that we didn't "take good care of her and didn't give a dam about her". My girl had been buried only for a week. Why some people, even being 80, are so fucking somcially and emotionnally impaired to not be able to grasp that grieving parents need to be given a FUCKING break ?
She even critized my girl's female friends, who took the train (400 km) to come to the funeral, saying they were haughty and not so-well-dressed. She finds it very normal for her borthers not to have bought flowers or a littl financial contribution, as every body else did. She started at some point to say who was permitted to attend the ceremony and who did not. We had to quarrel with her about that, did we had not go through enough already ? She even asked me if some of the flowers on my daughter's grave could not be moved onto my father's...
And I thought my partner was a PN. He is kind of, that's true, but I see him crying all day, saying how he failed our girl, how if he had went on talking to her, she would have stayed home, she would not have gone out for a walk, she would not have been hit by a car. How, in hinsight, he made her sad. How he should have permitted this or that, how he was not such a good father. How he will never recover, how he's just waiting to join her. His already deceased mother seems to have been a brutal and non-loving person, but he said that mine is even worse, that at least his would have let us grieve and would have give us a break.