u/Imincoldwater_1

So I’m friends with 3 BPD people. Two I’ve had normal relationships with but at times they can be a lot and recently I’ve become friend with another without realising and they treated me rudely bc they’re going through a lot rn. Anyways I’ve had experience with these people where they just become rude and explosive at moments and since I don’t know they have BPD until they tell me or I find out I’m basically in friendships where I can potentially get hurt and I’m a forgiving person where I care a lot so I hang on to the relationship so it doesn’t fail. I don’t like loosing people especially when it feels preventable. Is this true?

So basically me and this girl knew each other for a few weeks and we got close but she said rude comments and told me she needed space so I respected that and apologised. I unfriended her on insta and now it’s been some time (2 and a half weeks) I’ve taken time to myself and space to think the conversation through and decided I want to be cool again with no bad blood and so I requested to follow her again but haven’t heard a response atm. It’s been a few hours and everyone uses their phone so she must at some point see it. I really hope she accepts me and we can be neutral. What do you think? And whatever outcome how should I process it and proceed?

Thanks.

I F18 met a friend a few weeks ago and we got close really quickly. We were talking a lot, hanging out about twice a week, and she even said things like we’d be “best friends” and that she saw us staying friends long-term.

I genuinely felt like we understood each other and I started opening up more and putting effort into the friendship (texting, calling, trying to organise hangouts, etc). I thought this was mutual and just a normal close friendship forming.

But recently things shifted really fast.
She started becoming distant and cancelling plans, and when I asked about it she said she’s been busy and going through a lot. We ended up on a call where she told me I was “clingy” and “controlling” and that it felt like I wanted her to be like me. She also said she needs space and can’t really handle this friendship right now. She told me I’m not too much, she doesn’t hate me and she really loved meeting me and getting to know me for the first time.

This really confused me because:
I didn’t think I was doing anything extreme, just communicating and trying to stay close
She was the one who originally made the friendship feel very close and intense
I thought we were on the same page until suddenly we weren’t

Now I feel kind of rejected and angry, but also guilty and unsure if I actually did something wrong or if we just misunderstood each other. I even stepped back and removed her from my private socials because I felt overwhelmed too.

I guess I’m just struggling because it went from feeling like a really close friendship to feeling like I was “too much” for her.

Has anyone experienced something like this before? I don’t know if I should try to fix it or just leave it alone.

I F18 met a friend a few weeks ago and we got close really quickly. We were talking a lot, hanging out about twice a week, and she even said things like we’d be “best friends” and that she saw us staying friends long-term.

I genuinely felt like we understood each other and I started opening up more and putting effort into the friendship (texting, calling, trying to organise hangouts, etc). I thought this was mutual and just a normal close friendship forming.

But recently things shifted really fast.

She started becoming distant and cancelling plans, and when I asked about it she said she’s been busy and going through a lot. We ended up on a call where she told me I was “clingy” and “controlling” and that it felt like I wanted her to be like me. She also said she needs space and can’t really handle this friendship right now.

This really confused me because:

I didn’t think I was doing anything extreme, just communicating and trying to stay close

She was the one who originally made the friendship feel very close and intense

I thought we were on the same page until suddenly we weren’t

Now I feel kind of rejected and angry, but also guilty and unsure if I actually did something wrong or if we just misunderstood each other. I even stepped back and removed her from my private socials because I felt overwhelmed too.

I guess I’m just struggling because it went from feeling like a really close friendship to feeling like I was “too much” for her.

Has anyone experienced something like this before? I don’t know if I should try to fix it or just leave it alone.