u/Immediate-Durian-806

How long does it takes . Is it possible.

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The passage is long .

I live in a tier 2 city i self diagnosed myself from approx past 3 years of adhd and it has only got worse i read a lot i researched alot i watched videos and papers and some people say adhd is a spectrum if it is true i am 100 percent sure i lie in that spectrum and might on upper half . I can't afford therapists rn beacuse i dont trust the once in my reach and i have to shift to some other city for my education in 2027. I will get therapy there i know fs i need therapy beacuse its not just adhd there is also anxiety ptsd childhood trauma middle child syndrome sleep paralysis and much unknown.

I am meeting pschyatrist beacuse i got to know that medicines can actually help in adhd amd i need medication to concentrate in my studies i have exam in next 5 month . I need help amd thats the best i choose for myself even this step in a indian household is difficult.I am 18 rn . I fear that maybe i tell my pschyatrist about my symptoms issues and he dismisses me saying that i think too much or its not that beacuse this leaves me with so much anxiety. Thats my very last hope.

I will list down most of the symptoms i remeber here . I would appreciate if you will help me understand what i should say .

1. I forget things alot but i also remeber very ting details of conversations or incidents mostly. I lost my maths book during my boards in schl with my phy book and lost so mamy things so many

2. I think alot my brain is also thinking abut something always always a new topic or movie bok idea future what ever falls in my interest.

3. In fulfilling my interest i forget what is really important my studies i like stidy i was a bright stident till 10th but did not get my expected marks amd then everything fell apart. I crashput a week before exam i get exhausted

4. I dont care about my task i had 10 day gap before my exam i did not stidy for a min in those 10 days . And a night maybe aroundb 9 pm i thought i will complete the whole syllabus the confidence and audacity is dragging me away from reality . Amd mind u i was not serois during my exam how could i had been whole year . A waste

5. I hate doing work i live in kind of a patriarchal house amd they ask me to indulge in working and chores i hate i always fight scream get scolded. But recently i leave my task or project amd silemtly indulge in chores beacuse i feel thats rewarding immediate achievement

6. I have 1000s of interest every second i have a new interest . I read about them see about them i know things i should not and i think all the time about them i feel bad for people suffering kids women men what not i love doing arts archit music movie someday i wanna be a lawyer a idol a poet a filmmaker am engineer a buiseness mam a philanthropist. I can't identify nyself

7. I cant follow schedule i never ever i get exhausted very very quickly in boring work i like things that spike my dopamine i cam research whole night but cant do thing which i should .

8. I think too much just too much i have so much aydacity ambition that i change the world rule the world change people but on a very realistic scale i cant ever turn a page my hands dont work

9. I blankout mid conversation i keeping reading 1ons of times but not singke wprd goes i my head

I know many people will care amd suggest me do what i like but i have responsibility i have people to take care of i dont come from a very good fam my mom is sick . I am crying while writing this i am completely fed up of myself i need help i have and see no way out i help my self with other things but this is impossible for me to do alone . I would love if you give me advice.

Sorry if the content is too long

Thanks in advance if you are here to help .