u/Immediate-Mind9675

There's alot of history but my mum and dad broke up when I was 7. They went through a bitter custody battle and my mum won. My dad met a new partner and had four other children. I didn't see him for 7 years until I was 14. It was strange and I was reserved when I met him again. I had a turbulent relationship from ages of 14 to 21. When I was 21 he got real angry and said we should do a DNA test. We haven't spoken since. My mum passed away 5 years ago and not one word from him. During all this time I have had a great relationship with my nan, his mum. She has been consistent and loving and welcoming. I stayed at her house over the summers and some NYE and we spoke on the phone regularly.

The last few years she had dementia and wasn't the same. She passed away and her funeral is coming up. My dad was always close with his mum and he did help her a lot during her final years. The narrative my dad has always said is that the ball is in my court and it's me that doesn't want to talk to him. This is false and not true. Since my nan passed away he set up a family WhatsApp group with my aunt, his kids, and some cousins. I was added to it which was odd but I was happy to be part of it.

The first private message my dad sent was 'do you want to carry the coffin? Yes or no?' I found this upsetting and quite blunt. A week ago he wrote in the group that now arrangements have been made for the funeral, he is closing the group. And that he did. It's all very disappointing and hurtful.

I have been at my current permanent role for five years. In that time I have been promoted and my payrise only went up by 5%. Other years have been 1-2% payrises. During the cost of living crisis this has been difficult and each year with the increase in tube fare, rent, council tax, energy bills, I am actually losing more money than the previous year. Adding to this I am also in £18k debt. This includes a £6k fertility loan and credit cards which I turn to the last week of every month just to get food shopping and get by. I am on £61k and you would think this would be enough for just me but in London it really isn't especially with all my minimum payments.

I've been aware that I've been paid under market rate for sometime and since being promoted two years ago I have asked for further increases, asked for pay bands clarification at work and I've been fobbed off. To make matters worse, they are now recruiting for the same role as mine, in a different team, and it's advertised at £5k more than I'm on now! When I've asked why this is and explained that I should have at least the same (having been in the role for two years) im simply told that is the market rate and they need to advertise at that level otherwise no one will apply. Ridiculous. Just fobbed off again and again.

I have come across a FTC 12 month contract with a competitor. The competitor is slightly smaller but it's a great company that is doing fantastically. The role is £15-20k and is an exact replica of my role. I met with the hiring manager who said she is looking to make the role perm as I was clear that this is what I would want albeit I know what I'm signing myself up for. I haven't been offered the role as the process has just started but I'm wondering how much do I actually go for this considering its a contract? A few friends have looked at me wide eye as soon as I mention the word contract and I'm worried about this. But I've done some calculations and I'll be debt free even with a few grand savings by the end of the 12 months so potentially in a better position. But then I could be jobless looking for another role which may take a few months.