u/ImmediateTrust4032

Idk but lately at night I feel lonely. I feel as if no matter what I try to do, no matter how hard I try to be there for people, I will always be left alone.

I’ve recently hit a wall and realized that my baseline sense of self is heavily tied up in external validation. I have a habit of over-investing in people, waiting around for their texts, and basically letting their presence (or absence) dictate my entire emotional state.

Recently, I dropped a lot of one-sided dynamics and stopped "pulling" people toward me. But instead of feeling free, I just feel this massive, heavy emptiness. If I'm not actively engaging with someone or waiting for a notification, I feel like I lose my sense of self - like I'm just a floating consciousness waiting for an external ping to feel real.

I know our Fe makes it incredibly easy to bleed into other people, but I am exhausted from outsourcing my self-worth to unstable servers. I want to shift my locus of control completely inward.

So, how do you build a solid sense of self that doesn't depend on external factors (social media or friends), and how do you survive the withdrawl phase after that?

Today I was venting out to a friend that someone close to me gave me a shut up call and called me something and I felt disappointed in myself for the first time in a while. It felt like I messed up again and I wasn't good enough for people or my friends to spend time with or share stuff with. And that friend said that maybe I was too sensitive, that I focused too much on what people say and small things tend to turn off my mood. So I have a question are infjs sensitive? Cause I know that sometimes our Fe tends to act up.

Are us infjs overwhelming for others, so they decide not to listen to us and don't seem that much interested in what we say? Do other people find us overwhelming and "too much"?