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Pata hai aaj Kya hua? Aaj phir ladai ho gayi humari. She used to trace her fingers across my chest in the morning, pull me back into bed just to kiss me one more time. Now she barely turns her head when I walk into the room. I lie next to her every night, inches apart, but it feels like a canyon between us. I'm married since last 16 years
I try to initiate. I try to connect but I’m met with sighs, excuses or that look the one that says “not now, not again.” And every time, it chips away at me.
I’m a man, yeah. I have got needs. But it’s not just about sex. It’s the intimacy. The way a simple touch can make you feel wanted, seen, loved. I crave that more than anything. I miss hearing her breath catch when I kissed her neck. I miss her wanting me, without me having to ask.
It has been more than 6 years since this has been going on. I can't divorce because of our kids. I want someone. It is not about wild nights or perfect bodies, but about someone just reaching for me without hesitation. Someone who sees me as more than just a provider, or a fixture in the house. Someone who wants me like I still want to be wanted.
I never thought I would feel this lonely in a relationship. And I hate that my mind wanders to places it should not but when you've been starved this long, even a whisper of affection feels like a feast.
I'm waiting to meet someone with whom I can feel connected and loved.