u/Important-Party-2893

Hi,

I went on a first date with a girl. The date went pretty well, she enjoyed it as did I. The texting before the date was great as well (only 1 day). However long story short I was a total asshole when we texted after the date. She said she was interested to see me again, but her texts slowed down and I interpreted that as a sign she is not interested, and I got frustrated. I crossed her boundaries pretty badly. Badly enough for her to block me.

I sent an apology to her a few days later on a separate ig account, after reflecting on the situation and realising my behaviour was totally unacceptable. A few days later pass and I see that she unblocked me. Does that mean anything to anyone here?

FYI for all of you keyboard warriors, I do not expect this girl to ever see me again. I've accepted that and I will not ask her. I will leave that up to her if she wants to contact me. I will not bother her again.

I'm just interested to know if her unblocking me means anything? The stuff I said was really bad so I don't understand why she would unblock me

Hi

I M(26) went on a first date with a girl from Hinge F(24). The date was 3hrs, but I think it went really well. We went for dinner to Vietnamese restaurant, took a scenic walk near London Bridge, and went for 1 drink at a rooftop bar. I thought conversation topics flow well, so overall I’m very happy with continuing to date this girl.

We only matched 1 day before the date. She was texting me pretty frequently up to the date, and I reciprocated. After our date she said she is also interested but I received signals she actually is not. When I tried to mention a second date she said “wants to take it slow”. At this point the message frequency also dropped, and she only did blank responses. To put it simply, texting was very shallow and not engaged from her end. I sensed that and I straight up told her what I felt from her responses. And she assured me that she is still interested.

When I hear someone is interested I expect some communication to get to know the other person. It doesn’t have to be texting every hour, just some level of engagement.

I (26M) went on first date with girl through Hinge (24F) in London. Talked for a day on the app and then went on a date. Went really great I thought. Went to a Vietnamese restaurant and then went for 1 drink. Pretty simple, had some interesting conversations, and crossed arms when walking. She reciprocated, signalling interest in me.

Something she shared bothered me. We were talking about past relationships and she brought up the situation ship that lasted 4 months recently. Originally I believe she agreed to be non-exclusive situationship with the guy. Then she went exclusive, but the guy basically lied and was seeing other ppl. Hence her breakup with him. On the date she made the point she is very much on the exclusive side, and made it seem like her date intention is eventually relationship.

Before we met we discussed dating intention on very vague terms saying things like “go with the flow”. I didn’t get it before, but now I interpret that as “I want situation-ship before relationship”. And to my understanding situation-ship is basically FwB, non-exclusive. I explicitly said I’m okay either with long or short term relationship and she replied “oh nice”

Before our date the texting was great, very engaged in good conversation. However after the date texting went dry, very shallow and surface level. I explicitly asked her if she wanted to see me again and she said yes. And this is where this whole thing is bothering me now. She said she is interested, but signalling she is not and keeping the link active. For example some things she said:
Excuses of not texting “tired of so many texting”, “want some me time” (texting many other guys clearly)
If i want to talk to you i will message first (stringing along)
Making poor excuses she cant meet(“too rushed”, “suddenly remembers her friend had birthday”, “suddenly busy”, “take it slow”) taking it slow is fine, but what she really means is I want to explore other guys atm.
Saying “Giving me too much pressure”, “Force me to answer questions”- a form of gaslighting, because i did not. I did basic human conversation to get to know her more over text.

There was simply no engagement from her at all. But says she is interested? I don’t get why she said she is interested if acting like not? Or why not state her dating intention clearly from the very start?

Her story of the situation-ship above is also all over the place and didn’t add up. She said she was exclusive first, then non-exclusive, then inclusive again… but what I believe is that she was non-exclusive initially when she started dating the guy based on my interactions with her. When I questioned her on this she simply said “it’s obvious 🤣”, “it’s in the past doesn’t matter”.

I was attracted to her, liked talking to her at first, and saw she was interested in me on the first date. Then since first date I’m invested in her because when I see someone likes me and I like them back then i want to keep on dating that person, and stop entertain other options. I get emotionally invested.

This is what I think i experienced:
She was not being honest about her dating intention
Wants so see many other guys
Im near the end of her list of backup options
Says she is interested, but she prefers to shop around
Stringing along
She wanted free dinner. Funny when you pay the bill, attitude changes.
gaslighting

I’m honestly fine for whatever ppl are looking for, just be honest yk. Like why can’t people like that be upfront I’m curious? She said this herself “I feel you are a good guy on our date” but doesn’t want to date me.

Honestly a very terrible date experience for me, emotionally distressing to be honest. I’ve learnt from this experience very much to see what type of people are on these apps. My question to you is how would you filter those people out? A lot of ppl seem to lie about what they want.

I blocked her.