Guilt over birth
I am feeling so guilty over the birth of my twins about a week and a half ago. I tried for a vaginal delivery however I failed to progress past 8-9cm and baby A was not happy so it was decided with my preeclamysia it was time to get the babies out. As soon as baby A was out I noticed he wasn't crying however my blood pressure tanked (60s/40s) and I was so tired the only thing I could concentrate on was staying awake. I know I didn't want to fall asleep. I think they showed me baby B and he also wasn't crying like normal. They ended up taking the babies back to the birth unit to have respiratory therapy get them on some oxygen. After they closed me up I was back to my room to start a magnesium drip for my preeclamysia. I was so out of it, I didn't get skin to skin until the next day (I wanted it sooner but I was in no shape to move and both babies were hooked up to equipment and I was too scared to hold them with how out of it i was). I did get skin to skin the next morning, but honestly can stay I don't even really remember it. I feel so awful knowing I wasn't there the first moments of their life and having them be without me. I know its just hormones, just feels like nothing has gone to plan and feel like such a failure as a first time mom and like I let my babies down.