u/Impossible-Union-861

I broke up with my partner of six months a few months ago because I could feel myself splitting on him due to issues with communication and him just not having the emotional maturity to have serious conversations about anything, including how my bpd affected him.

I have come away from it realising that he was never a full blown fp for me even though I adored him. As I thought on it more, I realised that I have emotionally blocked myself from developing an fp attachment to anyone since a pretty traumatic experience with my last one in 2021, and I’m scared I’ve lost the ability to properly emotionally connect with someone anymore. I just feel like a shell of a person, and every move I make feels calculated so as to not come off as too much, and also to not let myself feel too much about anyone.

I started talking to a guy recently and we were getting along really well, had some really cute moments at friends’ events, then he took me out to dinner and I went back to his. The next morning he told me he has been seeing another guy who recently confessed feelings for him, and instead of freaking out or breaking down I just. Felt nothing. It’s like a switch flipped in my brain, I didn’t even feel mad, I just felt nothing. I tried to spark some conversations with him via story replies or messaging something related to things we talked about, but it’s been pretty dry and still I feel like there is a barrier blocking me from fully being upset about it at all.

My life feels so empty now, I don’t know if there is a way to retrain myself to feel, but it feels like nothing and no one matters and I have been considering moving to the middle of nowhere once I finish my degree and get a job in the outback so I never have to worry about feeling anything towards anyone again. Even if I felt sad that would be something, but it’s like no matter what I do my brain won’t let me feel anything.

Hope this makes sense, kind of just needed to vent but also wanted to see if anyone else has been through this and if it gets better. I do also have autism, ptsd and depression so not sure if those are also contributing factors, but I definitely need to talk to a therapist about this more.

I’m really excited to see Gretta Ray among the band this tour, but is there a reason Maisie has never credited her for contributions outright?

In Gretta’s song America Forever Maisie is credited for backing vocals, however in songs like Two Weeks ago and History of Man she isn’t listed explicitly as being on the songs despite her vocals being very identifiable. Not sure if it’s a licensing thing or something else but thought it was strange.

Just finished my first trimester at unsw doing the UPP course and am really enjoying it so far. I was looking into staying here when I start my degree, and as far as I understand:

Semesters- more classes per term but more time to get it all done

Trimesters- less classes per term but less time to get it done

I think I would prefer to stay in the trimester system as I do better with a smaller workload over a shorter period, but wanted to confirm that the above is correct because I’m finding it confusing