u/Impossible_Bus_8085

so for some context ive been depressed since i was like 11-12 but never been diagnosed, now im 17, in march i went to a friend and we got drunk, which was kinda my first time drinking that much and i got sick but wtv, i never felt more peaceful than at that moment

now i constantly think about drinking and getting drunk to find that peace again, but i obvs dont want to become an alcoholic but idk how to get this feeling to pass

so for some context ive been depressed since i was like 11-12 but never been diagnosed, now im 17

in march i went to a friend and we got drunk, which was kinda my first time drinking that much and i got sick but wtv, i never felt more peaceful than at that moment

and now i constantly think about drinking and being drunk but i really dont want to be an alcoholic obvs, i just wanna know how to stop thinking about it and if the feeling will ever pass, if its just a phase or idk