u/Impossible_Poet8620

Hello!

I am 25 years old. Gf 24. we have a 3 month old.

We have been together for a total of 2 years now.

Ill refer to our little girl as the baby

This is not my main language. Excuse any errors

(me and our little girl have a good relationship. Im with her a lot, we play daily, i feed her by bottle, ive rocked her to sleep every single night since shes been born and i shower her/bath her to get some special time in. She smiles and laughs at me now. My girlfriend breastfeed for 3 months and we just swapped to bottle.

Before pregnancy she loved me and everything was good. She became pregnant and slowly started resenting me for everything she had to go through. We worked around it and somehow got trough it.

Were now 3 months postpartum. And believe me i have tried everything (or so i think in my mind..) i was home for 2 weeks straight after birth. taken days off work to be with her and do my part with the baby. Came home early many times! Month 2-3 i was home for 4 weeks and really contributing as shes been overwhelmed by the constant responsibility. Been to literally every single appointment regarding her and the baby. And in my mind ive turned every stone i possibly could. Doing housework, planning things, grocery shopping, making sure all household needs were met so her focus could be on herself and the baby. She handles all of the clothes, washing and drying. And then i do the rest. I handled a lot before of course but i have really stepped up my game! to minimize her household errands. And of course. Handling the baby as well. And i feel i am about to be burned out soon.

We have now reached a breaking point or something. My girlfriend has been angry at me for very small things, things thats not necessarily very big but her reactions are big. And yes, i get it. Hormones, resentment etc.

The thing is. I can accept the no sex part. Ive accepted no kissing, no hugging and all of the above because shes been so overwhelmed with the baby. But now she has started treating me as a friend rather than her boyfriend and shes pushing me away. And it seems everything i do, even breathing or staying in the same room pisses her off. And shes doing it very hard. Shes exploding for little things. She now suddenly hates her own cat wich she used to love and i dont know what to do anymore because i feel ive tried it all.

She has now asked for time and space. And i asked her in return how can i love her the way she needs as of right now. She told me that i should just not do anything for her.

Ive tried asking her if i could go to my parents for a couple nights so she can have some free time and space. But no, because of the baby she doesnt want that and thats ok. She does not want to be separated from the baby yet and thats ok! I respect that.

Its been a week since i wrote^^ and now. My girlfriend had a crashout day. She didnt eat, she was really weird and seemed overwhelmed. Just today she told me she felt like she was losing herself and been going through so much during pregnancy and after, felt like she could barely breathe and wanted to break up with me

How do i proceed? Do i continue to fight for her and us? If so, how?

Okay. I really need help to understand whether my relationship is actually going somewhere or if my girlfriend has given up on us mentally and is ready to leave?

Ill try my best to explain but this is not my main language so be patient with me😂

We have been together for two+ years now. We were together for 7-8 months before she got pregnant and we were very happy and was something we both wanted and really looked forward to. During this time she wanted me all the time so much to the point i needed space/breaks sometimes because i was scared of leaning in too quickly.

So after a month of pregnancy she became totally different. She suddenly hated me. Like a switch. Needed space, time alone etc. We worked through it and she labelled it as just hormones. So eventually we had some good days. Some bad days. And a lot og space. (My feelings for her never changed). Even though she acted up towards me i continued supporting her to my fullest extent and we somehow managed. During this time our sex life got non existant.(wich i was fine with. Totally understandable.) And she would allow a few kisses here and there just to try and keep our connection up. I took really good care of her. I attended every appointment. Hospital. Took care of bills. Made sure she ate etc. and even though i could still tell something shifted for her. I would say it was resentment building up because of what she had to go through.

Okay. Thats that. 3 months ago our little beautiful girl was born and i did absolutely everything i could to be there for her and really support during birth. And she even stated she could have never done it without me a couple days later when her family was visitinh! But then again as a pattern ive noticed after those intimate moments she shut me out and pushed me away. Wich has been a pattern ive noticed happened all through pregnancy. We can have a good week, everything is seemingly «fine». But she wakes up the next morning and pushes me away. And it happes every single time until shes ready to repeat 😂

My relationship to our daughter is great. Im contributing as much as i can. Have taken weeks off work to be more at home and we try to split te work load equally. As for the household im trying my best to do at least 70%. She does the laundry and i sort the rest of the house, bills, car, groceries etc.

The thing is, my girlfriend has become really angry after birth. She exploed at me for minor things. Distancing herself. Wants to be more alone and handle her own thing herself. She even stated once i dont care what you do anymore! When she was angry🙈 But it could go from that to her wanting to watch a movie together later on. the thing is. Its really starting to take a toll on my mental health. You know, she can wear whatever she wants and i dont say anything. But ive noticed her now dressing up more. Wearing more revealing clothes, now wearing a new sensual perfume (probably wants to feel sexy after pregnancy.) and thats totally fine! Its just that in combination with her pushing me away, spending less time together, her exploding at me a lot for minor things, now she doesnt want any affection what so ever. No hugs, no kisses, and she said she needs time and room and treats me like a friend. And quite frankly she seems to be disgusted by me sometimes. I can give her a peck and i can tell she dislikes it and thats also why im respecting her boundaries and not pursuing.

Ive been so very patient for so long. Im just starting to lose hope that its not just hormones. I know she has avoidant tendencies. But yeah i feel lost. I feel as though she wants the relationship but is inbetween leaving and committing kind of

Hello!

I am 25 years old. Gf 24. we have a 3 month old.

We have been together for a total of 2 years now.

Ill refer to our little girl as the baby

This is not my main language. Excuse any errors

(me and our little girl have a good relationship. Im with her a lot, we play daily, i feed her by bottle, ive rocked her to sleep every single night since shes been born and i shower her/bath her to get some special time in. She smiles and laughs at me now. My girlfriend breastfeed for 3 months and we just swapped to bottle.

Before pregnancy she loved me and everything was good. She became pregnant and slowly started resenting me for everything she had to go through. We worked around it and somehow got trough it.

Were now 3 months postpartum. And believe me i have tried everything (or so i think in my mind..) i was home for 2 weeks straight after birth. taken days off work to be with her and do my part with the baby. Came home early many times! Month 2-3 i was home for 4 weeks and really contributing as shes been overwhelmed by the constant responsibility. Been to literally every single appointment regarding her and the baby. And in my mind ive turned every stone i possibly could. Doing housework, planning things, grocery shopping, making sure all household needs were met so her focus could be on herself and the baby. She handles all of the clothes, washing and drying. And then i do the rest. I handled a lot before of course but i have really stepped up my game! to minimize her household errands. And of course. Handling the baby as well. And i feel i am about to be burned out soon.

We have now reached a breaking point or something. My girlfriend has been angry at me for very small things, things thats not necessarily very big but her reactions are big. And yes, i get it. Hormones, resentment etc.

The thing is. I can accept the no sex part. Ive accepted no kissing, no hugging and all of the above because shes been so overwhelmed with the baby. But now she has started treating me as a friend rather than her boyfriend and shes pushing me away. And it seems everything i do, even breathing or staying in the same room pisses her off. And shes doing it very hard. Shes exploding for little things. She now suddenly hates her own cat wich she used to love and i dont know what to do anymore because i feel ive tried it all.

She has now asked for time and space. And i asked her in return how can i love her the way she needs as of right now. She told me that i should just not do anything for her.

Ive tried asking her if i could go to my parents for a couple nights so she can have some free time and space. But no, because of the baby she doesnt want that and thats ok. She does not want to be separated from the baby yet and thats ok! I respect that.

Please, someone help. Im afraid, i feel alone and i desperately want my girlfriend to feel better and save our relationship. I really hope this is not the beginning to and end.

Thanks.

Ive editet out helping as it was not what i meant!