What is the right balance of work and mum life for school aged kids.
I would love to get other mums insight into how they juggle work life balance.
I am currently a single parent to a 7yr old.
I work full time Monday to Friday - the standard 40hrs a week. However travel 2hrs each day to and from work due to traffic (1hr each way). I drop my son close to 645am most mornings and collect him after 515 in the evening. We roughly see each other 3hrs a day based on wake up and dinner / bed time.
Although it bothered me and has done for a while, I still dealt with it. Recently my son was asked to join a basketball team and the sessions for his practice were at 4:30pm of the afternoon and I raised this with my manager if I could work out some flexibility or balance to be able to achieve this and she declined. She also advised me that in the event I want to join or change my sons curricular activities they must be discussed or liaised with her first. As an example my son went up to the next level swimming class and we couldn't make appointments during the week so we do this on weekends. However as a result now our weekends are spent trying to juggle these commitments vs the afternoons after school.
I do not have help or assistance with collecting or drop off.
I've recently found myself asking if this is the precedence I am accepting for the future of my son and his outside extra curricular activities and it has made me genuinely question if working full time is what I want.
I even considered moving closer to my work (30mins) to help assist with the travel aspect in the mornings and afternoons but given the current market I cannot afford $800 min a week for a unit. It also meant uprooting his current life and friend group.
I feel extremely stuck between trying to provide for my son and create the life he deserves vs being present and missing opportunities and creating his self independence and courage / team bonding, resilience, etc. At this current point in time I've had to decline all sports he has wanted to try because of this and its impacting my thoughts alot.
The issue is that obtaining or finding a part time position is hard to come by dependant on the role and industry you work in not to mention the pay decrease and travel aspects.
Ideally I'd be happy to work 3 days a week or roughly 24hrs a week (6hr days across 4 days). So i have the best of both worlds.
I have also considered resigning to just have some down time although it means no income for weeks but it would allow me to gain a clearer mind and the ability to attend job interviews as at the current point in time I'd need to take sick leave to attend as I must collect my son before the osch closes due to my finish time.
I see many posts about women going back to work full time and not feeling guilty whereas I am the opposite I slug myself day in day out to do my best and I run myself thin. I do not have time to myself as my son is in my care 90% of the year. His dad works fifo so isnt home much if at all. I dont have family who can help as my parents are elderly and my mum is unable to drive.
I actually feel worse about working full time than I do about not having a job. My son constantly tells me he wishes I was home more and around. He fell behind in his maths due to a change of teacher in his class that we spent hours doing additional maths work vs quality time together. Which is fine but my mind also thinks that if I worked part time or little hours than I could achieve this and support better being present.
I am also mindful that in 6yrs time when he is a teenager he won't necessarily need me as much anymore and I would have missed out on this quality time with him and that hits alot.
Would anyone be able to share feedback comments or even suggestions and advice.
A man at work recently resigned working 27yrs at my company and he said that his biggest regret was never being home to see his children or attend school assembly or events for them. He said he deeply regrets giving his all to an organisation vs his family and we do often get so swept away in the working / earning aspect. The actually big reality to why we work and earn is for our families who matter more than a job.
Given I am on my own my son is my priority. But I also need some income to survive.